


Connections

by Joking611



Series: Cari'ssi'mi [6]
Category: Mass Effect, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-12
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-04-20 11:13:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 42,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4785320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joking611/pseuds/Joking611
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liara and Shepard's ties to each other begin to tighten.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Undeserving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard acknowledges her feelings for Liara. Liara is led to the realization that Shepard will likely never act on them.

Shepard had awakened.

No one would ever suspect by simply looking at her. As yet she was motionless. Her breathing remained regular.

All of her turmoil was internal. Like fish swimming beneath the surface of a still pond, the activity boiling through her mind remained hidden, unexpressed.

It wasn't that she'd lost a teammate. Well, it wasn't only that. She'd lost soldiers under her command before. She'd even lost soldiers because of commands she'd given. This was the first that that she'd never known in advance that would be the result. She'd never deliberately given an order before knowing that it wasn't high risk, but would _definitely_ lead to a soldier's death. To a _specific_ soldier's death.

She had selected Ashley to die. Shepard had thought that pulling the trigger on Benezia had been difficult. At least that had been a decision made under fire and all the soul searching had come after. In this case Shepard hadn't even been threatened. She'd calmly and collectedly chosen who in her team was going to survive, and who wouldn't.

If anything, it was worse that it had been Ash. The Chief had no problem with a martyr's death; in fact she practically yearned for it. One might presume she even believed it necessary, one last sacrifice required to regain the honor of her family. Knowing Williams' feelings on the matter only increased Shepard's already intense feelings of guilt. Not that the commander didn't respect Kaidan, but Shepard felt that his typical deference to her made him kind of a pushover. Ash had challenged her, reminded Shepard of herself when she had been a noncom. Shepard had seen a great deal of potential in Ashley; potential that would go forever unrealized.

Now Williams was just one more ghost. One more individual Shepard owed penance for not being able to save them. Her family, soldiers and civilians on Elysium, Benezia and all the acolytes killed on Noveria, now joined by Ashley, taking her place in a multitude of spectral judges, ready to condemn her for her actions, her decisions, her failures.

_'Enough!'_ This wasn't solving anything. This wasn't even like her, to wallow in regret over choices past. _'The Council, that's what's making this worse. Damn them for not believing me.'_ Usually Shepard could turn to action to overcome the shame and regret over those unsaved. She was always one to be charging into battle, vanquishing evil, protecting the weak, avenging the lost. And afterwards, when there were letters to be hand delivered to next of kin, events to personally take responsibility for, she was there for that too. Action was more her style, who she was. Time to get back to it. The Council may not have given her leave to go to Ilos, but they hadn't _expressly_ forbidden it either. "If you believe Sovereign is the real threat, you must take whatever action is necessary to stop it" Valern has said. That suited her just fine. She was ready to get back to leading from the front.

She needed to shake this negative mood. Suddenly she grinned wickedly. She was struck with a idea that would pull both the crew and their commander out of this funk. All she needed was a certain Krogan. Thus galvanized, she tightened her muscles in preparation of motion, squeezing her pillow in the process. For an instant she was rewarded with a light scent like cinnamon carried on a sea breeze. It struck her as incongruous for a moment. It almost smelled like...

Shepard's eyes flew open.

Liara's lab. She was in Liara's lab.

Shepard stood up quickly, almost catapulting herself from Liara's cot. So distracted had she been that she hadn't even noticed the difference in sleeping surface. She hurriedly looked around and saw no trace of the young Asari. Despite her embarrassment, for a moment the emptiness of the room left her crestfallen. The chronometer on Liara's desk displayed an unpleasantly early 02:49, unsurprising as Shepard had not yet fully adjusted from Armali time.

_'If I'm awake, she might be too. Or... she slept somewhere else?'_ Her sleep-addled brain still coming to grips with her unexpected location.

Suddenly memories of a few hours ago flooded her mind. She remembered her anger, her mounting frustration as she had made her traditional post mission rounds below deck. Kaidan and his nearly ceaseless lamenting of not being able to live up to Ashley's sacrifice. She had comforted him as best she could, but he was obviously going to need assistance getting his confidence back. Wrex had likewise been blind to her suffering, instead demanding reassurances that Shepard was certain she'd done the right thing in the destroying Saren's base. It had taken a great deal of effort to prevent her anger at the question from becoming evident. Still, she recognized that if anyone had sacrificed more than she with the destruction of the base, it had been Wrex. She allowed him his frustration even as she suppressed her own lack of the very certainty he demanded.

Despite his sincerity, even Captain Kirrahe's long-winded gratitude had rung hollow in her ears. Although convinced of his veracity, she had seriously considered acting on her desire to throw the Salarian officer's platitudes back in his face. STG or no, at the moment she associated him with the Council, and her feelings about them were currently far from positive. Only Garrus had required nothing from her. His solemn nod and firm grasp of her shoulder silently communicating his understanding and acknowledgement of her pain, even as they discussed the tactical repercussions of the mission. The man might have a difficult time with shades of grey, but he understood a warrior's burden.

Finally Joker. Joker, who had almost been an afterthought in her post-mission rounds, included this night because of the role he'd played in their escape. Joker had made no attempt to hide his anger at Shepard's decision. Joker instead had questioned how Shepard could have sacrificed the Chief, questioned if it was because Ashley had the misfortune of not being in the circle of people Shepard actually cared about, as opposed to being just one of those given lip service about loyalty. It didn't help that the questions he raised were the same ones she has been asking herself. When Joker finally ran down from venting his anger, Shepard reiterated as strongly as she could that she missed Ash too. Joker had simply turned away without comment. She knew it was too soon to expect more. She'd already asked Karin to visit him later. He would likely respond better to Dr. Chakwas while his grief was this raw anyway.

Still, the interaction with Joker had been her breaking point, her time in the cockpit including the moment when she simply couldn't tolerate any more. She was already furious. She was furious at herself, at Saren, at the situation. She'd needed a break from maintaining a positive front for the crew before she'd been tempted to say or do something she'd regret. However when she left the cockpit, it wasn't her cabin that was her destination. Nor had she proceeded to the cargo bay for one of her quick, intense workouts. Instead Sarah had almost instinctively sought out Liara. There had been no thought to propriety, to decorum. By reflex she'd made a beeline to the medbay as if she were following a homing beacon. She hadn't cared that Dr. Chakwas had seen her; she passed the doctor without a word as she burst into the lab, diving onto the blankets as if she did it every night. She'd fallen asleep in Liara's bed, agitation finally soothed by the ataractic effect of Liara's touch.

She glanced back at the rock hard Alliance issue cot - where she'd just had her best sleep since before Noveria. She closed her eyes in acknowledgement that it wasn't the cot that had restored her to a more collected demeanor. She ran her hand through her hair, remembering the sensation of Liara's fingers playing with the strands.

Shepard took a deep breath. Liara had surely been confused and dismayed by her actions. She should have come to comfort the maiden, and had no right to have expected that comfort from her instead. At the very least she owed Liara a heartfelt apology for taking advantage of her compassionate nature. She gathered her thoughts to prepare for possible scenarios. She needed to say something to the young Asari, and better to say it in private, before the crew was awake. First step, where had she gone? Sarah's thoughts ran to images of Liara continuing her Prothean research on the terminal in the medbay, Liara having tea in the mess, Liara asleep... in Sarah's cabin? She quickly banished that last from her mind.

Rallying the crew for a mission to Ilos would wait for the start of daywatch anyway. She had to put things right with Liara. Objectives prioritized, she opened the hatch from the lab to the medbay, and immediately encountered the object of her search.

Liara was off to her right, on the bio bed closest to the lab. She was lying facing Shepard and wearing a dark grey navy issue t-shirt and shorts. The maiden had wrapped herself tightly in one of the medbay sheets, and had a small bandage high on her forehead, just below her crestline. Shepard blinked, her conscience stricken. She hadn't even been aware that Liara was injured. What the hell kind of commander was she?

Her original intent of discourse forgotten, Shepard started to walk over to the bed. She'd only taken a few steps when the coolness of the deck prompted her to look down at her bare feet. Looking behind her revealed her boots placed neatly under the edge of Liara's cot, next to the maiden's own. Shepard returned to the cot and retrieved her socks from inside the boots, quickly putting them on, but carrying the boots as she resumed her journey to Liara's side.

Shepard didn't know how long she stood over the maiden, looking down at her, losing herself in the Asari's beauty, but it was long enough for her neck to stiffen. As she rubbed the soreness away she again tried to understand what had happened the last several weeks. Ever since Therum, her feelings for Liara had grown stronger, more insistent. It was unlike anything she'd previously experienced. She shook her head in a vain attempt to clear it. Eventually she tore her attention from the maiden, and looked around to verify they were alone in the medbay. Dr. Chakwas was not on duty, and apparently there had been no injuries on Virmire severe enough to require observation.

Satisfied with their privacy, Sarah returned her gaze to Liara, again trying to put words to her emotions.

She cared deeply about her squad. There was almost nothing she wouldn't do for them.

This was different.

She looked to Captain Anderson as, if not a replacement for the father she'd lost, then the closest possible thing. He was mentor, friend, and confidante all in one.

This was different.

The affection she held for her crewmates on the ship were bound by the same transitory essence of all friendships between soldiers. The nature of battle was such that people became very close, very quickly. When it was time to move on, you said your goodbyes and made new friends where you ended up being stationed.

_This. Was. Different._

The ties had grown just as quickly, but the feelings were not the same. Sarah knew what they were, but Shepard was still hesitant to give voice to them.

She took a deep breath. Then another.

_'Do something,'_ she practically screamed at herself, yet she remained motionless.

_'You have to tell her,'_ she thought, but no words came.

Her shoulders slumped. No, she didn't have to tell her, she guiltily realized. She'd had no right to come to Liara like she had. Liara needed someone to take care of her, not take advantage of her. Seeking her out tonight had been taking far too much of a liberty, and had probably cost her any respect that the maiden might have had for her. She sighed. She wanted this, she was able to admit that, but it wasn't fair of her to impose those desires onto Liara.

She glanced around the medbay again, as if someone could have could have entered unobserved while she stood motionless over the sleeping maiden. Reassured one last time that they were alone, she bent and gently kissed the young Asari on the cheek. Her lips barely made contact with the perfect blue skin, a butterfly's wingtip of a kiss. She pulled back, and after she was certain that Liara remained asleep, Shepard turned and quietly tiptoed out of the medbay.

As the hatch hissed closed behind the commander, the corner of a pair of dark purple lips curled upward in a half smile.

Shepard had of course been observed the entire time.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

  
Liara crossed her legs as she gently sipped her tea. "Goddess, Humans can be confusing."

"In what way now my dear?" Dr. Chakwas' focus remained on her pad, not looking up at her companion, who was fidgeting lightly on the other side of her desk.

Liara shot the doctor a mildly impatient look before taking a breath to compose herself. "No, I apologize Karin, you first. How was Lieutenant Moreau?"

Chakwas looked up with sadness in her eyes. "I'm sure you can guess from Sarah's behavior that their discussion last night didn't go very well. He's angry. He's grieving. I don't think he really blames Shepard for Ashley's death, but she made a convenient target for his despair. Even if he doesn't believe it, Shepard was more than willing to take full responsibility for his suffering. He needs time."

"I am so sorry Karin. I did not realize he and Ashley had become so close."

"It was surprising, but they had more in common than you might suspect. As a pair of outsiders, he with his affliction, she with her family history, they apparently had something they could bond over."

"That... does not sound very healthy."

"Well, I don't think either of them were known for making the best possible life choices. Again, he needs time."

"Has Shepard been to see him today?"

"No, I suggested that she give him a day or two to cool down. He doesn't need any reminders of Virmire for the time being." Chakwas paused, and tried to put a happier tone in her voice. "Speaking of Shepard, I assume she is the reason for your irritation?"

"I am not irritated with her Karin, I just don't understand her behavior. She knows that I wish to talk with her, but she has managed to avoid me all morning."

"In her defense, she has had rather a busy morning, don't you agree?"

Liara conceded the doctor's point. The first thing this morning, Shepard had called for a crew assembly over breakfast. As soon as everyone had gathered the commander announced her plan to make a run for Ilos. Given both the crew's desire to avenge Chief Williams, as well as the widespread perception that the mission was nearing a conclusion, the proclamation had been a popular one. The crew's enthusiasm had been contagious, and even Liara had felt it strongly.

Unfortunately, that plan only lasted until Shepard made it as far as the galaxy map. As soon as she was ready to approve the Mu Relay as their intermediate destination, Joker had received a recall order from Ambassador Udina. The Citadel had received Shepard's official report on the Virmire engagement. In response, the Council had announced they were massing a fleet to combat Saren, and Shepard's presence had been requested for an intelligence debrief. Technically, Udina couldn't order Shepard to do anything, either based on her status as an Alliance officer, or as a Spectre, but Shepard wanted to be part of that mission, and had ordered an immediate return to the Citadel.

Shepard had been in motion ever since. First she was working with Adams and Tali in engineering on feasible ways to improve power output. Then she was talking to Garrus about potential modifications to the main battery. She spent a significant amount of time in the cargo hold with the STG team; practically designing a new school of close combat tactics based on the stealth characteristics of the Normandy. Captain Kirrahe seemed virtually star struck when their marathon session was over.

Now she was running Kaidan and his marines ragged, performing a series of repel boarders drills. The noise and confusion were why Liara and Chakwas had retreated from the mess in the first place.

At least Wrex was having a good time. Shepard had set up the teams as the entirety of the marine platoon against a boarding party consisting of Shepard and Wrex. The Krogan had thrown himself into the contest with abandon, and had been wreaking all kinds of havoc on the marines using various non-lethal implements. So far the score was Marines 0; Boarders (including one marine) 4. The STG team had been taking copious notes.

"Yes, she has been busy, but I would still like to talk to her."

Chakwas finished with the report she was working on, and slid another OSD into her pad. She already had a good idea what the maiden wanted to talk to the commander about. That would also be the same reason that Liara had been so obviously happy for the first time since leaving Thessia. "And what is so important that it can't wait until we dock at the Citadel?"

Liara's look changed from serene to incredulous. Karin had _been there_. "Last night of course." Liara was still euphoric. It had been the first time since coming back to the Normandy that Liara had finally seen the Sarah she remembered from Thessia. "She was so tired, so despondent, but she came to me." Liara paused, unwilling to reveal what she had seen in the meld, the time Shepard had spent watching her in the medbay, or the kiss. "She _needed_ me."

Dr. Chakwas sipped her tea as she reflected that was probably one reason that the commander wasn't in a conversational mood. Shepard didn't show vulnerability easily. The fact she made it a point to expose that side of herself to Liara told her... well it told her that Liara was probably right about how the commander felt about her. That didn't mean that Shepard had yet come to terms with it, and it certainly didn't mean that she was ready to talk about it.

However, she also didn't want to burst Liara's mood. "Are you certain that now is the time Liara?" The doctor paused as the sound of a large crash permeated through the bulkhead, followed by assorted cheers. "Shepard seems to be trying to help everyone work through what happened on Virmire."

"Distract herself from what happened on Virmire you mean."

"I'm sure there is some of that as well. No matter what her other feelings, she's always going to feel responsibilities for her crew."

Liara would not be denied. "I am aware that Shepard has an overdeveloped sense of duty Karin. I also know that she has a responsibility to take care of herself as well."

Chakwas put her pad aside. "I can't help you with that one my dear. She checked out as fit for duty after Virmire." Another crash reverberated through the bulkhead, reinforcing the commander's current level of vigor. "My only recommendation to her had been to get some rest. You seem to have been able to help her with that."

"She just required assistance to relax."

"So you wish to talk to her about her relaxation regimen?"

"No..."

Dr. Chakwas smiled to herself. Apparently studying xenopsychology would have less relevance than she anticipated, even on a ship full of non-humans. Young love was young love. "I understand why you want to talk to Shepard about last night."

"Yes?"

"You're hoping last night might be the first step towards her being more open about a relationship with you."

Liara was slower to respond this time, waiting for the other shoe to drop. "Yes..."

Now Chakwas allowed her smile to show. "And given the events of last night, since you've let her know that you would like to talk to her, she probably knows why you want to talk to her, don't you think?"

"That is a reasonable assumption," conceded Liara.

So far so good. "Yet she has made it a point to remain otherwise engaged," continued Chakwas.

"She has." Liara gaze lowered as she started to lose some of her jubilance.

Chakras reached across the table and lifted Liara's chin. "Have you ever known Shepard to avoid something just because she found it unpleasant?"

"I have not."

"Have you ever known her to deliberately hurt anyone she cares about? For that matter, have you ever seen her not go out of her way to do what was right for anyone, not just those close to her?"

"Never."

"So if we assume that she is not avoiding your talk because it might be unpleasant, and that she would never deliberately hurt you, then her avoidance is possibly because she has an alternative in mind? Perhaps she'd prefer to have this discussion off the ship, or even has an alternative plan of her own?"

"That is not inconceivable." Liara's demeanor remained unchanged.

_'Hypotheticals aren't working,'_ thought Chakwas. _'Time for blunt.'_ "Liara. It's obvious how she feels about you, and I get the impression that your abilities have given you even more insight into those feelings."

Liara only blinked in response.

"Because of how long I've known Anderson, I've known about Shepard for a long time. If she has a flaw, it's her self depreciating nature. She has built a pattern of rejecting recognition, admiration," Chakwas paused for effect, "and affection. She's never been in a situation like this, and she will find a way to convince herself that she isn't worthy of it, or of you. It might be because of her position as CO, because of the mission, or because you're practically Asari nobility, but she will convince herself."

"Karin, if anything, I am not worthy of her! She has done so much for me, she continues to do so much. I do not understand what you're saying. I do know she cares about me."

_'Never in my life did I think I'd be giving advice to a lovelorn Asari.'_ "What I'm saying is that Shepard is going to need to be absolutely convinced that this is something you want as much as she does. If you wait for her to act on her feelings, it isn't going to happen. I'm not saying they'll go away, but all she'll be is conflicted between what she wants and what her morals will allow her to do. If you want this you're going to have to clearly and specifically let her know what you desire from her. Hints and euphemisms aren't going to work. Do you understand my meaning?"

For once, Liara didn't blush.


	2. Morale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Chakwas does not approve of Shepard's recent team building exercise.

Liara was still considering her options when Commander Shepard came, the best word she could come up with was "charging", into the medbay.

The commander was already yelling "Doc" when Liara's sharp intake of breath prompted Dr. Chakwas to turn, rising as she did so.

"Commander!" the doctor exclaimed. "What have you done to yourself?"

"Um, I fell?" Shepard backpedaled a bit upon seeing Liara while she tried to look both penitent and contrite at the same time.

"Off a building?" Dr. Chakwas countered.

"I'll be fine, I just need some medi-gel". Shepard favored her left side as she continued to walk more slowly toward the pair. Dr. Chakwas moved to both activate her omni-tool as well as collect some of the requested medi-gel.

Liara rose to meet Shepard halfway across the room. "Seriously, Shepard. What happened to you?" The commander was out of her armor, wearing just the short sleeve compression shirt and leggings she typically favored under her protective gear. Massive bruising covered the outsides of her left arm and leg. From the way Shepard carried herself, Liara guessed that her torso was similarly marked.

"Well, the marines took us by surprise. They were all gathered just inside the passageway to the engine room when we stormed it during the second assault."

"The marines did this to you? I thought this was supposed to be an exercise!" Liara's brow furrowed as the beginnings of a biotic glow began to arc between her fingers. She looked like she was ready to warp Kaidan through a bulkhead.

"Well, it wasn't technically the marines as much as it was my impact with them."

Liara's demeanor darkened even further. "What does that even mean Shepard?"

Shepard brightened again at the memory. "I told Wrex that he needed to clear the corridor."

"AND..."

Shepard's hand moved to the back of her neck, as it often did when she was uncomfortable. "And he picked me up and threw me."

"Shepard! He threw you at the marines?"

"Technically he threw me _through_ the marines." Shepard's grin returned as she recalled the victory. "There weren't any left standing when I hit the bulkhead. Wrex secured the engine room, and that was the fastest round that we won all morning." As she flashed her lopsided grin at Liara, Shepard suddenly realized that maiden's silence wasn't because she was impressed, but rather was due to the fact that she was bordering on an apoplectic rage.

Liara was still compiling an appropriate response when Chakwas stepped in and saved Shepard from the maiden's wrath. The doctor carefully grabbed her patient by her right arm, and guided her to a stool next to the second bio bed. "Sit down Commander and take your shirt off. Let's take a look at those contusions."

Liara watched as Shepard's gaze turned to her and her eyes widened. The maiden shook her head in exasperation. "Shepard, I help you into and out of your armor several times a week." Now she watched as Shepard turned to Chakwas with a pleading look. "Oh fine." Liara crossed her arms as she turned her back on the pair.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

  
Karin looked at Shepard appraisingly.

The doctor made a decision. "Liara, could we have the room for a minute? I promise I'll call you back in when the commander's decent."

The maiden turned and looked back at Chakwas as if her translator had ceased functioning. " _What?_ "

"This might hurt her a little, and I don't need you getting more upset than you already are."

Liara stormed to her lab, shaking her head.

Once the hatch sealed behind the maiden Chakwas turned her attention to her patient.

"Thanks Doc."

"Don't give me 'thanks doc', Bashful. Do you want to tell me why we just confused the hell out of Snow White?"

"What do you mean? A patient's never wanted privacy with their doctor before?"

"That's not what that was, and you know it. Liara has about as much body modesty as a cat, so I'm sure she's completely baffled."

"I just wasn't in the mood for an audience."

"Oh please. How many?"

Shepard looked away. "How many what?"

"You know damn well how many what. You've never had a problem undressing for me before, no matter who was in here. I've also seen you shower with the squad on more occasions than I can count. You obviously don't have a modesty problem - heaven help you if you were a marine that did. That leads me to believe that you _can't_ take your shirt off. Since you're moving your arms, I'm thinking we're looking at cracked ribs? Two, possibly three?" Chakwas reached for a pair of bandage scissors from the instrument tray.

"I'm just a little stiff."

"The only thing that was stiff was your decision making process this morning. I know you needed to let the crew blow off steam after Virmire, but this? At least your arm and leg seem to have taken a great deal of the impact. What if it was a head injury? You wouldn't be much of a threat to Saren then, would you? Or is your new goal to live as an invalid in Armali?"

Fire started to burn behind the commander's eyes. "That was uncalled for Doctor."

Chakwas refused to back down. "Was it? You let a Krogan throw you at a wall Shepard! That was a bad idea and you know it, or you wouldn't have been trying to hide the results of it from Liara. Next time I won't be the one to ask her to leave."

Shepard was incredulous. "After all we've been through? Threats?"

Chakwas reminded herself of her hippocratic oath as she suppressed a desire to punch the commander. "This isn't a threat Shepard, it's an observation. You don't need to behave like this. I know you're hurting from what happened on Virmire, but don't do this to yourself." _'Don't do this to her.'_ "You're surrounded by people who care about you. Talk to them instead." She started cutting the comannder's shirt up the middle of her back. Shepard responded with a sharp intake of breath as the material gave way. The massive bruising covered the entire left side of her torso. "Shepard! You ran three more drills like this?" The doctor started applying the medi-gel she'd brought to the bedside.

Shepard was quiet for a moment while her look softened. "Wrex sacrificed more than any of us on this mission. I needed to reinforce that he's an important part of the team, demonstrate the greater good that he gave up a potential genophage cure for. He's never going to like what he did, but I want him to know that he did the right thing. He needs to know that I trust him, that I'm proud of him."

Chakwas continued the medi-gel application while she waited for the commander to continue. When she didn't, she softly prompted "Do you really think that he cares about what anyone thinks of him?"

Shepard finally met her gaze. "I really do."

"Commander Shepard, Krogan psychiatrist."

"OK, maybe this wasn't my best decision."

"That goes without saying Shepard." The doctor ran her omni-tool over the commander, then tsk'd over the readout. "I don't know to be happy for you or not Commander. It looks like you managed to escape any actual fractures. You have subperiosteal hematomas on the sixth and seventh rib on your left side." Shepard gave her a questioning look. "Bone bruising," Chakwas said in reply.

"And that might make you happy?"

"Even with medi-gel, cracked ribs would have had you out of action for 5 to 7 days. That time might have done you some good."

Shepard's penitent demeanor evaporated. "That's not an option Doctor."

Chakwas waved her objections away. "You're injuries aren't as severe as they look. Once the medi-gel takes care of some of the subcutaneous damage I'll tape you up and inject some more medi-gel close to the bone. You'll be ready for light duty in 24 hours, and fully healed in 36 to 48."

Shepard relaxed. "That should be fine. We'll be at the Citadel in a few hours. Will I be able to meet with Udina and the Council?"

"I'll have you taped up so tightly that the only thing you'll have on your mind is taking your next breath, but yes, you'll be able to walk through the Presidium."

"Good."

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

  
Liara was staring at her terminal. Not at the text displayed on it, just the terminal itself. She had been waiting in her lab far longer than she had expected to when the hatch finally opened. She was still angry, and had already decided that she would decline Karin's invitation to rejoin her and the commander in the infirmary. Unexpectedly, the doctor was not who was calling on her

Shepard stood in the doorway, apparently waiting for Liara to turn. From her hesitant demeanor, it seemed she needed the reassurance of the maiden's typically welcoming look. It was a look that Liara was not currently inclined to offer the spectre. Liara had no desire to make this impending conversation easy on Shepard. She wouldn't be filling in the gaps for the commander this time. If Shepard had something to say, it would be up to her to say it.

Eventually the commander gave up on waiting for Liara to turn, and stepped far enough into the room that the hatch closed behind her. Liara remained able to make her out in the reflection from her terminal, but she still didn't turn around. Liara could see that Shepard's posture was strangely erect. She waited for the commander to speak, but nothing seemed forthcoming. Eventually she heard the commander shuffle her feet slightly, and she rolled her eyes. _'Fine.'_

Liara spun her chair, and let her eyes roam over the commander. She had changed into an N7 t-shirt and a pair of those terribly unflattering cargo pants that Shepard was so fond of. Liara would never say anything though. It was an outfit that held sentimental value for the maiden, as it was what Shepard had been wearing the night of their first late dinner together. The bruising had noticeably lessened on her arm, and presumably on her leg as well. Liara closed her eyes for a moment as she noted that Sarah's hair was damp. So much for her resolution to maintain her level of annoyance. It took everything she had just to stay in her seat.

"Are you feeling better Shepard?"

Sarah finally lifted her eyes from the floor. "The doctor says it looked worse that it was. Specifically, she said I'm better than I deserve." She paused for a response. When none came she continued, "I'm sorry Liara. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"You did not hurt my feelings Shepard, I just do not understand why you were embarrassed about your condition. I have seen you with far worse injuries." Terra Nova sprang unbidden to her mind. Shepard had taken a round to the abdomen near the end of the mission, but had continued on. When they had returned to the Normandy, the amount of blood that had spilled from Shepard's armor had left Liara literally shaking with fear. Yet, as the spectre was carried out of the cargo bay on a stretcher, Karin applying pressure to the wound, Sarah had made a point to reassure the maiden, even promising to show her the scar afterwards.

"I, I wasn't embarrassed. Not really." Shepard looked away again as she tried to put words to her feelings. "I was... ashamed." Her eyes turned back to Liara. "What's crazy is that I don't even know why."

Liara smiled inwardly. _'I know why. You made a decision without considering the impact on me, and afterwards felt that you should have.'_ "So, was your victory worth the pain?" She gave Sarah a small smile that wasn't quite 'all is forgiven', but certainly let the spectre know there was hope.

When Shepard saw Liara smile, the tension she'd been holding over the last hour finally released. She breathed a heavy sigh of relief, accompanied by a relaxation of her shoulders and torso. It was precisely the worst thing she could have done, as the sharp pain in her side caused her to immediately straighten and give a brief cry of pain.

"Shepard!" Liara could pretend mild disinterest no longer. She was immediately at Shepard's side, wanting to hold her, touch her, but unwilling to hurt the commander further. "Are you all right? Do you need Dr. Chakwas?" Liara started to move towards the hatch.

Shepard reached out and grabbed Liara's wrist before she had taken more than a step. "I'm fine Liara. The doctor didn't want me on painkillers so that I could feel when my posture was incorrect." She cocked her head. "Although I'm not entirely sure this isn't her punishing me for my stunt with Wrex."

Liara had gone no further, but didn't appear entirely mollified. She turned back to the commander and looked for signs that Shepard was in worse condition than she was letting on. She saw no such indication, and was also reassured by the fact that Shepard would have had to go through the medbay on her way to see her. Chakwas would have intervened if there had been cause.

Still, Shepard was standing stiffly and was in some apparent discomfort. It wasn't rational, but Liara needed more reassurance. "May I see it now Shepard?"

"Yes, of course." The commander responded almost too quickly, as if overcome with the desire to redeem herself for her earlier reluctance. When Liara kept looking at her in expectation, Shepard finally followed up with. "You'll have to lift my shirt. I can't tighten any muscles in my abdomen right now."

Liara stepped forward, very much into the commander's personal space. "Are you certain Commander? I do not wish to hurt you."

"Go ahead Liara, it's fine. The only thing that hurts is if I don't keep my back absolutely straight."

Liara took another step forward, and placed her hands on the commander's abdomen. She could feel the bandages through the fabric. She paused for a moment, and looked up into the commander's eyes, again seeking reassurance there. Shepard's nod restored her confidence, and the closed her fists, tightly gripping the fabric. She pulled upward, slowly bringing the shirt free from the commander's waistband. When Shepard remained impassive, Liara lifted the shirt far enough to expose all the bandages.

Liara was rewarded with the scent of soap and antiseptic, but there really wasn't anything to see. The tape began just below the commander's breasts and continued downward, completely covering her torso to the top of her pants. Liara ran her hands down her torso, and found Shepard's body to be almost alarmingly rigid, with no yield to her touch whatsoever.

She released the shirt, but made no effort to tuck it back in for fear of hurting the commander. The experience drew out her inquisitive nature. "The bandages are so tight! How are you even able to breathe?"

"That's the point Liara. The bandages aren't covering a wound, they're in place to limit motion." Shepard gave Liara a wry smile. "As the doctor promised, I'm learning to take very shallow breaths."

Liara indicated Shepard's still slightly damp hair. "But Dr. Chakwas let you shower first?"

"The majority of the internal healing didn't start until after she taped me up and she injected the medi-gel close to the injured areas. I won't be able to shower again until she takes them off in a couple of days. Let's just say we both thought that it would be a good idea to shower after my activities this morning."

"How did you get your clothes on?"

Shepard finally looked a little sheepish at that one. "Chakwas had to dress me. I'm pretty inflexible at the moment."

"Does that mean you will not be meeting Ambassador Udina when we get to the Citadel?"

"No, I'll definitely be seeing Udina. If anything, wearing my armor will help maintain my posture. I'm in no shape to fight, but I can attend the Council meeting." Shepard waited for Liara to ask who would be coming with her on the Citadel. When Liara didn't, she continued "I'd like you to join me."

That snapped a response from the maiden. "What? Join you Shepard?"

Shepard cocked her head. "Yes? On the Citadel? I'd like you to come with me when I go meet Udina and the Council. Garrus too."

Liara shook her head. _'Of course that was what she meant.'_ "I would be happy to Shepard." She paused. "Do you not think the Ambassador would rather you bring Lieutenant Alenko instead? From what I know of him, I believe Udina would prefer to reinforce the Human contribution to the mission."

"Kaidan won't mind, and Udina's opinion is exactly why I want to bring you and Garrus. Discovering the Reaper threat wasn't my success, nor humanity's. It took all of us. If I thought I could get away with bringing Wrex and Tali too I would. Hell, if anyone deserves accolades from the Council, it's you. You interpreted the Prothean beacons. I was just dumb enough to get blasted by them." Shepard gave her a grin. "If Udina gets too uppity I can always remind him that I'm not humanity's spectre."

"I do not believe Councilor Tevos would appreciate that statement. She was not pleased when I reinforced that point on Thessia."

"Well, they reap what they sow. I don't know what they expected when the Council named me to be a spectre, but this is what they got."

"They probably did not expect that you would be so successful in working with other races. It is not a known Human strength."

Sarah gave Liara a look that she had only seen once or twice before, a look that made her want to melt into a puddle. "Perhaps I've been inspired."

Liara was suddenly very aware of how closely she was standing to the commander. She reluctantly took a step back as she asked "How soon until we arrive?"

"We'll be through the relay in about an hour. So, meet in 30 minutes?"

"That soon Shepard? Was there something we needed to discuss?"

Shepard was hesitant. "I was hoping that I could impose on you to help me into my armor?" she finally asked.

"Of course Shepard." She smiled. "It would be no imposition at all."

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

  
Shepard, Liara, and Garrus strode through the CIC... carefully. Helping Shepard into her armor had shown Liara just how defenseless Shepard actually was, despite the spectre's reassurances. Knowing the full extent of Shepard's condition had made her anxious enough that she had pulled Garrus aside to let him know as well. The last thing she wanted was for Garrus to go running after some low level criminal from his C-Sec days, and expecting the commander to be his backup. Liara knew Shepard well. Knew she would immediately respond, with no thought to her condition nor how vulnerable it left her. As they walked, Liara continually watched Shepard for signs of discomfort. Garrus was also attentive, but in addition to monitoring Shepard, he was watching Liara's behavior as well.

When they reached the airlock and started across the accessway to the dock, Garrus smiled as the ship's computer announced Shepard's departure. "Does it have to do that every single time? It really makes you sound full of yourself."

Shepard winced as she chuckled. "This is nothing. There was a time back in the days of sail, that the boatswain's mate piped the commander aboard and ashore. We can reinstate that tradition if you want. I think you'd look great standing at attention in the airlock all day."

"It's a silly tradition."

"That it is."

The trio reached the lift to C-Sec Academy. Garrus again spoke up. "So, Shepard..."

"Yes?"

"You do realize, well I hope you realize, you must realize, that you have taught a Krogan battlemaster that the most advanced ship in the Alliance fleet can be captured by a single Krogan, with one other person assisting."

Shepard's eyes twinkled. "Have I Garrus?"

"The two of you managed to defeat an entire platoon of Alliance marines on 5 different occasions, and captured the Normandy each time."

"Did we?"

Garrus regarded the commander. "Yes, you did. In fact, it didn't even seem particularly difficult for him."

"Didn't it?"

Garrus' tone changed in frustration with the flippant responses. "All right Shepard. You're obviously trying to rub my mandibles in something, but I don't see it."

The lift arrived, and Shepard gingerly stepped into it. "Liara?"

Shepard had chosen a question that she could answer, Liara having already had this same discussion earlier. "The rules of engagement."

Garrus turned to the maiden as the doors to the lift closed behind him. "What about them?"

"They existed. A true boarding party would have been resisted by any means available."

Garrus turned back to Shepard. "The marines were holding back?"

Shepard rolled her eyes. "Of course they were holding back Garrus. I'm not dead, am I?"

"I think you'd be pretty hard to take down Shepard."

"I hope you don't have to find out. Look at is this way; both sides were restricted to non lethal implements. That in and of itself favors Wrex because he can shake them off better than we can. There were only two of us, sure, but there are only 10 marines - all of whom were being careful not to injure me. The crew is armed when on duty, and none of them engaged. No one used biotics. None of the automated defense systems were used. Last but not least, no one engaged the autodestruct. We defined "capture" as being able to secure any two of the CIC, engine room, and armory. We never even tried for the CIC. The ship was never captured."

Garrus' confusion was plainly visible. "But then that means this wasn't really a drill."

"No, Garrus. It wasn't a drill."

"Then what was it?"

"This was giving everyone a chance to blow off some steam after Virmire, but mostly letting Wrex knock his commander around so he'd feel better."

"Better about what?"

"Better about me destroying a potential genophage cure."

"He had to know you wouldn't let that get out. You're a Council spectre. You couldn't allow it."

"He didn't put me in the position where I had to make that decision. He got to make it, which is as it should be. This was my way of letting him know I appreciate what he did."

"'Throw me at a wall' was your way of saying _thank you for not making me kill you?_ " Garrus was beginning to think he would never understand his Human commander.

Shepard winced again as she laughed even harder this time. "I wasn't going to kill him Garrus, and he knew it."

"You looked pretty ready to me."

Shepard shook her head. "I did, but it was only for show. Behind me, in his line of sight, were a biotic and two sharpshooters as reinforcement. He might have taken me down, but he knew his survival chances were zero. Unless he was seriously considering suicide, it was all posturing. I gave him the respect of acknowledging it as if it were real."

Garrus' mouth nearly dropped to the floor of the lift. "I was your backup? Was someone supposed to tell me this plan? I didn't even have my rifle out. He could have blasted you and been charging halfway to the three of us before I could have lined up a shot."

"No Garrus, you weren't my backup. You were my decoy. All three of you were." She cocked her head at Liara, " _She_ was my backup."

"WHAT?" Liara's shout was almost a squeak. "Shepard! I did not even have my gun in my hand!"

"And where was your other hand Liara?" Shepard's voice was gentle, almost a caress.

The maiden hung her head. "Behind my back."

"Why?"

"So Wrex could not see the glow of my biotics." Liara lamented that she had been so predictable, but she also knew she would never have let Wrex attack the commander.

"And you were in the tent, just behind the limit of his peripheral vision. He never even considered you a threat. I was confident that I had at least a 50 / 50 chance of getting a barrier up if he pulled the trigger, and that you would have made certain that there wouldn't be a second shot."

Garrus looked back and forth from Liara to Shepard. "So, there were four of us supporting you against Wrex, but you didn't think it was important enough to tell any of us what to do?"

Shepard had a thoughtful look on her face, as if she didn't understand the context of the question. "I didn't have to tell you to do anything, I just needed you to be Garrus. I also needed Ashley to be Ashley, Kaidan to be Kaidan," she turned to Liara and her voice dropped again "Liara to be Liara," and now back to Garrus, "And most importantly, for Wrex to be Wrex. I never expected to need any of you to actually _do_ anything."

Garrus was silent as the lift finally reached its destination. The doors opened, and Shepard stepped through on her way to the transit terminal. Before stepping out, Garrus turned again to Liara. "Are all Humans this cunning? It's a wonder Citadel Space even survived the Relay 314 Incident."

Liara gave Garrus a small smile, even as she continued to look at Shepard in wonder. "Of course not Garrus. Our Shepard is the only one of her kind."


	3. Distraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liara is diverted from supporting Shepard. An old acquaintance makes an appearance.

The commander reached the transit terminal before Garrus and Liara had closed half the distance to her. Liara reflected that even when injured, Shepard seemed only to have one speed. She wouldn't say anything though. The last thing she needed was to allow scolding the commander to become a habit. Nothing good would come of that behavior, and she knew that Shepard would never tolerate it.

Still, as she and Garrus walked up to Shepard, she made sure to visually give the spectre a once over, looking for hidden signs of distress. When her eyes reached Shepard's, she saw that the Human wasn't looking back at her, but rather behind and to her left, distaste evident in her expression. Although Liara had seen no tension in the commander's face, she placed her hand on her pistol as she turned to confront whatever had precipitated the sour look.

Liara felt her expression shift to match Shepard's as she realized who had come from the corridor leading to the requisition office. Nelyna, acolyte of Sha'ira, had stopped a respectful distance behind her. The maiden obviously having had positioned herself near the elevator to wait for the team from the Normandy to emerge.

Liara's newly acquired social standing meant that the acolyte would delay speaking until Liara addressed her. Liara considered making her wait, but then admonished herself for having such unbecoming thoughts. She would have to express her irritation with Sha'ira via some other means. Taking them out on the uncomfortable maiden in front of her was not an acceptable option.

"Cortigiana Nelyna, is there something you require?"

The acolyte started at being recognized, as she and Liara had never met. She wouldn't quite meet Liara's gaze as she brought her hands together. "Peeress, I am here on behalf of the Consort Sha'ira."

 _'That was unnecessary exposition,'_ thought Liara as she waited for the acolyte to get to the point. _'She does not wish to tell me. I suspect that I will not like this at all.'_ She suppressed any outward indication of the impatience she felt, even as she could sense Shepard's restlessness behind her.

"The Consort requests your presence at her chambers on the Presidium".

Liara's tone carried ice. "You may inform Sha'ira that I am unavailable. I have other business on the Citadel." She turned away, considering the matter closed. Liara was astonished when Nelyna addressed her again.

"I'm very sorry Peeress, but the Consort was insistent that you come to her chambers. I was instructed not to return without you." The maiden's voice has a slight shake, obviously uncomfortable with having been placed in a position so far outside propriety.

Liara closed her eyes as she prepared to tell Nelyna exactly what Sha'ira could do with her request when Shepard stepped in.

"If you need to go meet with Sha'ira, don't worry on my account. I'll be fine." Shepard had completely misunderstood Liara's disinclination to accompany Nelyna, but Liara realized that she could use this as her reason to stay with the commander.

Liara stepped close to Shepard. "I am not leaving you Shepard. Not now. You will need help if something happens."

Shepard smiled at Liara's dedication, even as she softened her tone, and pitched her response for Liara's hearing only. "You don't need to worry. I'll have Garrus with me. Besides, we're only heading to the Presidium and the Citadel Tower. We'll be perfectly safe. Nothing can happen."

Liara's composure nearly cracked under the comment. "Nothing can happen?" Liara hissed sharply. "Goddess! You are a spectre! It isn't like you do not have enemies! I myself have participated in three different firefights with you _while on the Citadel!_ "

Shepard started at the intensity of Liara's response. The maiden was taking a breath to continue when Shepard reached out and put her hand on the maiden's shoulder. "You're right. I would never send someone into danger alone unless I had no other choice. That's exactly what I would be doing with Garrus." She paused, obviously uncomfortable with the admission. "I'm nothing but a target right now. There's no way that he could defend us both if someone decided to take a shot at me." Shepard activated her omni-tool. "Joker."

"Commander," the reply was immediate.

"Tell Kaidan to suit up. He'll be joining me to meet with the Council. Garrus and I are waiting at the lift to the dock."

"Aye aye Commander. Where's Liara? Is something wrong?" Joker seemed legitimately concerned, even if he still didn't sound like his typical self.

"Not now Joker. Everyone's fine. Details later."

"Yes Ma'am. Normandy out."

Shepard turned back to Liara. "See? I can be reasonable. Go ahead and see what Sha'ira needs. The Council will probably keep me waiting for a while anyway. You might even be able to meet us there before the session starts."

Liara should have felt relieved, but there was still something wrong. Liara couldn't put her finger on it, but she wasn't leaving Shepard until Lt. Alenko arrived. Sha'ira's summons was too specific, too insistent. It felt like a deliberate attempt to separate her from Shepard. Sha'ira had never given her reason to suspect that she might move against Shepard, but her time with the Human had taught her to pay attention to her intuition. She turned to face Nelyna. "I am in no hurry Shepard, and I suspect that Sha'ira isn't either, so long as you remain here. I will await Lt. Alenko's arrival."

Liara turned slightly away from Nelyna, placing her back squarely to Shepard. It likely wasn't necessary, but Liara was taking no chances.

Months of working with the commander had taught Garrus what the maiden was doing, and he took up a defensive posture as well. If someone wanted Liara separated from Shepard, it was probable that they wouldn't like the reason.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

No more than 10 minutes had passed before Kaidan emerged from the lift. As he crossed the distance to the transit kiosk, he was surprised to not only find Liara still present, but the team was also in the company of another Asari that he didn't know.

Kaidan was mildly confused when Garrus and Liara didn't acknowledge his presence as he approached, until he realized that the pair were actively protecting the commander. Their eyes swept the room, and once he was identified as non-hostile, they moved on to maintain a continuing state of threat assessment.

He stopped adjacent to Shepard, and also turned to watch the room, his hand on his sidearm. "What's going on Commander? Joker said everything was fine."

"We're not sure Lieutenant. Someone really seems to want Liara separated from the team, and until I'm at 100 percent it seemed like a good idea not to take any risks."

"She's still here though."

"She's been summoned by Sha'ira." Kaiden watched the maiden blanch at the comment. "She wouldn't leave until you got here."

Kaidan spoke up for Liara's benefit. "You waited for me? I'm honored."

The maiden didn't turn around. "It may be nothing Kaidan, but since I was called away and not Garrus, my biotics might be a factor."

Shepard spoke up. "Well, Kaidan's here now and we've wasted enough time. Shall we?" The commander was already summoning a cab. "Did you want one too Liara?"

"No, thank you Shepard. Nelyna and I will wait until you are safely away."

The cab arrived. Shepard was in first, followed by Garrus, and finally Kaidan. Before the hatch closed, Liara turned to the Alliance officer one last time. "Keep her safe Kaidan."

Kaidan knew others might have been offended by a civilian telling an officer to do their job, but he also knew that wasn't Liara's intent. The maiden's interest in the commander's safety was even more overt than his own. He gave her a curt nod. "Don't worry Doctor, I always do."

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

The commander safely away, Liara turned to Nelyna. "I am ready. You may escort me to your mistress."

Nelyna moved to the kiosk to summon transportation when Liara interjected. "No, Nelyna. We can walk." _'Now that I've resigned myself to this, I might as well enjoy it.'_ She started towards the lift to the Presidium, as Nelyna hurried to catch up.

"Peeress, I thought you were in a hurry?" The acolyte's voice was barely above a whisper.

"I see no point in rushing Nelyna. I suspect Shepard will find that the Council will be atypically expeditious when she arrives for her appearance. Besides, although I do not enjoy the crowds of the wards, I appreciate the opportunity to study ancient artifacts, and the Citadel certainly qualifies." _'Even if everyone is wrong about it being Prothean.'_

As they stepped into the lift together, Nelyna turned to Liara, eyes bright with tears. "I do apologize Peeress. I would never have behaved so had my instructions not been so explicit."

"That is all right young one," Liara smiled inwardly. Nelyna was easily a century and a half older than her, but her position placed her in a role of extreme seniority over the acolyte. "I do not hold you responsible. This is well beyond what should be expected of you." _'And one more thing your mistress should be held to answer for.'_ Still, Liara recognized this as an object lesson. One more reminder of the consequences of taking advantage of her people just because she had the power to do so.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

After setting a leisurely pace across the Presidium, Liara and Nelyna reached the Consort Chambers. Nelyna still appeared distraught, but Liara had made certain during their walk to continue to suppress any overt indication of her displeasure with Sha'ira. She truly did enjoy the opportunity to observe the Citadel's architecture at something other than the blistering pace usually set by the commander. She was calm, composed. She felt fully ready for the coming encounter with Sha'ira. In fact, now that she had resigned herself to not accompanying Shepard to the Citadel Tower, she was looking forward to it.

Nelyna assumed her position at the greeting station, displacing the maiden who was there when they arrived. Her anxiety seemed to lessen once she was able to put her terminal between herself and Liara. The maiden took a deep breath and fully met Liara's gaze for the first time that day. "Peeress, The Consort Sha'ira is expecting you. Her chambers are up the stairs, at the end of the hall."

"Thank you Cortigiana. You honor your mistress." Liara's response was pleasant, yet she displayed no intention to move.

Nelyna looked at her quizzically. "Sha'ira is ready now."

Liara nodded. "Thank you again. I am ready as well."

Nelyna started to look visibly agitated. She did not wish to bother her mistress, but she obviously was missing something. She was about to reiterate Sha'ira's status when a small chime in her right ear alerted her to a call from her mistress. "Please let Dr. T'Soni know that I will be there in a moment, and ask her if she would like a refreshment."

The acolyte practically sagged in relief. "The Consort will be here in a moment Peeress. She asks if I may offer refreshment."

Liara gave her a sad smile. "No, you cannot."

"Peeress?"

"You cannot offer me refreshment. These are not your quarters, you have not the right."

Panic began to rise in the acolyte's eyes again when Sha'ira arrived, and placed a comforting hand on the maiden's arm. "Thank you Nelyna. I will escort Dr. T'Soni to my chambers."

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Liara fell in beside Sha'ira as she walked back to her chambers.

Sha'ira was silent for a time before opening. "That was unkind."

"Yes, it was."

When Liara did not continue, Sha'ira pressed; "Why did you torture her so?"

"I was referring to the position that you placed her in."

They reached the door to Sha'ira's chambers. She palmed the door open and stepped inside. She had taken several steps before realizing that Liara had remained at the threshold. Several emotions uncharacteristically played across her face as she returned to the entry. "Is there a reason you're insisting on making this as unpleasant as possible? I was hoping for better from House T'Soni, particularly given the long relationship I had with Benezia."

Liara recognized Sha'ira's attempt to influence her by using her mother's name, but gave no outward indication. Instead, she maintained a level, almost indifferent tone. "I would assume then that you also never attempted to have my mother publicly summoned. Even Nelyna was offended at the miscarriage of etiquette demonstrated by your conduct."

Sha'ira's voice changed, gaining an imperious tone. "These are quite the aristocratic airs you're assuming. I presume this behavior is a frivolous attempt to demonstrate that you consider yourself my equal in the peerage?"

Liara made it a point to check her omni-tool for messages before responding. "Not at all Sha'ira." Liara deliberately continued to forego using a title. "I do not feel the need to lower myself for your comfort." She lifted her head, locking eyes with the consort. "Will you be inviting me in, or is our business concluded?" Liara was curious at this point as to how far Sha'ira would allow herself to be goaded. She realized that this could be quite entertaining, as she still suspected that Sha'ira could not allow her to leave.

Sha'ira locked exasperated eyes with the maiden, clearly considering the entire exchange absurd. However, after a moment she began; "Doctor T'Soni, I entreat that you accept the hospitality of my home. May your presence within it honor us both."

Liara stepped purposely forward. "Thank you Sha'ira. Your generosity is most welcome."

"Are you so in love with your new stature? Do you really feel that such strict formality is necessary?"

"I did not until you had me summoned like a child. You could have easily pinged my omni-tool instead of making a spectacle of your acolyte in the wards. You know I would have welcomed an invitation from the Consort." _'But then you could not have been sure to prevent me from accompanying Shepard, could you?'_

Sha'ira paused as if about to reply, but then turned and paced to one of the parlor chairs on the right side of her suite. As she sat heavily she turned back to Liara. "There was tea prepared, but I can only presume they've had to make it two or three times by now. You certainly didn't rush getting here."

Liara moved smoothly to a position in front of the accompanying chair and gave Sha'ira an expectant look.

Sha'ira's tone was dismissive, apparently having reached at least one limit. "I'm finished with playing games of privilege. You've made your point. I'm not going to invite you to sit."

Liara offered a tight smile. It pleased her more than she expected to have aggravated the normally unflappable Sha'ira. Their brief time on Thessia had not been condusive for Liara to air her grievance with the consort. The maiden hoped to be able to rectify that today. "You are correct, of course. The time for posturing is past." Liara took her time settling into the adjoining chair.

Both Asari paused as the door to the chamber opened. One of the Consort's acolytes entered bearing an ornate tea service. Liara approved of the delicate yellow inlay that enfolded the ivory colored cups, as well as the heavenly scent from the service carafe. The Normandy had changed her life in many ways, but providing better than mediocre tea had not been one of them. The young attendant poured for each of them, and then backed respectfully out of the room.

Liara reveled in the taste of her tea for a moment, before turning back to Sha'ira. "You still have not told me why I am here." _'Or at least what pretext you have arranged.'_

Sha'ira placed her cup on the table. "There was recently a maiden who ran into some difficulty with C-Sec, one Pororsha Jurix." Sha'ira waited to see if Liara responded to the name. "She had accepted a position with Turian nightclub owner as a dancer. After a few months her employer informed her that she was being relocated to Taetrus to dance in one of his establishments there. She did not wish to leave the Citadel. He informed her that she had no choice, as her employment contract was only specific as to length of term, not location. As opposed to going to Taetrus, Pororsha attempted to return to Thessia, but was arrested by C-Sec on a charge of breach of contract. She was given the choice of buying back her contract, or traveling to Taetrus. I was able to intercede on her behalf with the adjudicator."

"A bribe, you mean."

"An incentive."

"So Porosha has been released?"

"She will not be until she can demonstrate that she has the means to leave the Citadel. I was going to arrange for her transportation home when your felicitous arrival offered an alternative."

"Because she is Kaedra Jurix' daughter."

Sha'ira nodded in respect to Liara. "I am impressed. I did not expect you to recognize the name. House T'Soni must have a great many commandos even now. I would never have expected you to know them all."

Liara didn't bother with a response as she activated her omni-tool and scrolled to the third name on her contact list. "Message record, standard delivery; Iryra, Pororsha Jurix is in C-Sec custody on the Citadel. The Consort has intervened on her behalf, but Pororsha will not be released until she has arranged for transportation home. Send Eliata to collect her and escort her back to the estate. This was a misunderstanding, and her mother does not need to be informed." Liara looked away from her omni-tool and fixed her gaze on Sha'ira. "Sha'ira has incurred expense in assisting House T'Soni in this matter. Contact her people and arrange to provide reimbursement." The maiden lowered her arm as she deactivated her omni-tool.

"It was a pittance, I did not do this expecting compensation."

"And I do not make it a habit to accrue debts."

Sha'ira stared at Liara for a moment before she indicated the maiden's omni-tool. "You're on the Citadel you know. The comm network would have routed it if you had just placed a call. Your message probably won't reach Thessia for an hour or two at standard priority."

"Which is why I selected it. I did not desire a dialog, simply to provide direction." When Sha'ira did not immediately reply, Liara returned her attention to her tea.

The pair sat in silence for several minutes before Sha'ira finally reopened the conversation. "This must be a difficult time for you, given Benezia's death and all of her obligations and responsibilities falling to you. From an outsider's perspective it seems that you are handling it well." Sha'ira paused as she took another sip of tea. "I was very surprised to see you Name Shepard to stand with you at your ascension."

 _'And there it is.'_ "Why are you surprised? Do you question the commander's capabilities?"

There was hesitancy before the response. "Far from it. She is a woman of great strength, a strong leader. However, I did not believe that she was someone who would willingly enter the kind of obligation that she has committed herself to."

"Because you believe she lacks a sense of duty?"

"Because you are Asari."

Liara actually laughed, finally unable to maintain her calm facade. "You believe Shepard is a _xenophobe_?"

Sha'ira looked affronted. "I am unaware of the nature of your relationship with the commander, and Humans are known for their bigoted minority. It seemed a reasonable assumption to make. The possibility existed that she has her own agenda that does not have the interests of other races in mind."

Liara's voice turned cold at the implied criticism. "You were present at Benezia's release. You saw her crew. I am not the only non-Human that serves on the Normandy."

"Enduring the participation of other races is not the same as being sympathetic to their needs."

"I assure you that Shepard cares deeply for everyone on her ship, Humans and non-Humans alike."

"That was not the impression I received during my encounter with her."

"Because she declined your overture for physical intimacy?" 

Again, hesitancy. "It surprises me that you are aware of the details of our encounter."

Liara considered herself fortunate that Shepard trusted her so completely. The spectre had come to her almost immediately from Sha'ira's chambers, concerned that she had somehow given offense to the Consort, yet unwilling to accept what was offered if that was required to avoid such offense. Liara had barely been on the Normandy for two weeks at the time, but even so she had carefully not shown the commander how relieved she had been at her description of events. The maiden lost her focus for a moment at the memory. _'It had only been two weeks, even before our first dinner.'_ For the first time the young Asari considered that even then Sarah's behavior might not have been because of a lack of interest in the Consort, but due to an undisclosed interest in Liara herself.

She refocused as she took a breath before revealing the depth of the details she was aware of. "Why? You yourself stated that you are 'unaware of the nature of our relationship'." _'Apparently so was I'_ she thought ironically. Liara went on to recite; "'I see the sadness behind your eyes. It tells a story that makes me want to weep. Pain and loss. But it drives you, makes you strong. It is that strength that people are drawn to. It is why you lead and others follow, without question. You will need that leadership in the battles to come.'" Liara took another long breath, "I have partaken in some of those battles. Hers is that strength that allowed her to free me, Shiala, Benezia, even the Rachni queen. Benezia's release was truly that, release. It was a gift that I was not strong enough to bestow upon my mother, an act of mercy that I could never repay."

"I feel the need to apologize, yet I find myself in the position of not knowing exactly what I am apologizing for. I would not have offered myself to Shepard had I known I would be intruding upon another. In my defense, she was not marked, nor did she display the signs of regular melding." _'Nor do you,'_ was the unspoken followup.

Now Liara's tone became even colder then before. "You can rest assured that Shepard does not need to be marked to be considered claimed."

"I wonder if she would agree with that, or even knows that you consider her to be yours. You are far from the only person whom she has come to their aid."

"She declined the consort. It must soothe your ego that there be an overriding reason. You were willing to characterize her as intolerant and prejudiced. Is devotion so unappealing an alternative?"

"Was it devotion? Given the needs of House T'Soni I'm surprised either of you felt comfortable leaving Thessia. You have decades of restoration ahead of you to undo all the damage left by Benezia. If she were truly devoted to you and yours, she would be by your side as you remained there to do what is necessary. Instead, she drags you across the galaxy, repeatedly placing the head of a Thessian Great House in jeopardy."

Liara settled more deeply into her chair as the beginnings of a smile played across her face.

Sha'ira tilted her head at Liara's response. "You concede my point?"

Liara's smile widened somewhat as she placed her teacup on the table. "Concede your point? Of course not. Shepard was my advocate, my defender when I labored under the brand of traitor, a victim of the suspicion created by Benezia's relationship with Saren. Now she is cari'ssi'mi in House T'Soni, something that you would do well to remember. Her devotion to me and mine is without question. I was just smiling at what I learned from your comment."

"And what is that?"

"From your open denigration of Shepard, and my mother, that you no longer fear an angry departure on my part, therefore you are no longer laboring to keep me here. The Council's business must be concluded. From the fact that you did it in such a way that I might be provoked in responding carelessly, I can guess who is listening, and therefore who requested that I be distracted." Liara looked towards the door, "Will Veleda be joining us?"

Liara regretted not turning to see Sha'ira's reaction, but her suspicions were confirmed when the door opened and Councilor Tevos entered the consort's quarters.

Both Sha'ira and Liara rose. Sha'ira stepped across the room and met Tevos before she had gone more than a few paces. Tevos reached out and took the consort's hands as they brought their foreheads close, almost touching. Both matriarch's eyes swirled black for the briefest of moments before Tavos dropped Sha'ira's hands and turned to Liara.

"I am not surprised of course, but I am curious how you inferred my involvement."

"It was not difficult Veleda," Liara's tone held no malice, having given it up once she resigned herself to being prevented from attending the Council meeting. "There were really few possible options. The three Council members themselves, obviously, and the Human ambassador."

"Udina was a potential suspect?" Tevos sounded skeptical.

"For different reasons. He would prefer not to share credit with non-Humans, even if it weakens his bargaining position. Although he refused to see it, his best possible scenario would have been for me to attend, perhaps even with Captain Kirrahe from the STG. Shepard's story would have been substantiated by a member of each of the Council races, and therefore been difficult to dismiss."

"And you suspected the Council members because...?"

"They had the most to gain by preventing me from attending. Having House T'Soni publicly validate Shepard's claims about Sovereign and the upcoming Reaper invasion would be problematic for the Council to quietly deny. I was able to narrow which Council member down to you by the fact that neither Valern nor Sparatus would have colluded with Sha'ira. They could have asked her to detain me, certainly. However, they never would have attempted to work with Sha'ira to gain information about my relationship with Shepard, nor would they care."

"How did you know that we would reject Shepard's claim?"

Liara looked puzzled. "Because you actively worked to deny her my support. If you believed her, you would have been gratified for additional viewpoints and information, not trying to suppress them."

Tevos' bearing softened. "Benezia would have been proud."

Liara lowered her head. "No, she would not have been. She would have preferred that I fight." She looked back up at Tevos, "Now, if you would excuse me, I suspect that Shepard needs to talk to someone about the Council meeting."

"You may want to give her time to regain her composure. She was quite agitated when the session was adjourned."

Liara sadly shook her head. "Shepard deserves better than this from you, from all of you. No matter what you do to her, what barriers you place in her way, she will continue to do her duty. I just hope that you do not make her hate you for it."

Liara walked towards the door. When the reached the entryway, she turned to Sha'ira and gave a shallow bow, "Consort, my mother always spoke fondly of you. Your hospitality honors you and your home."

And then she was gone.


	4. Constraint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tevos reveals her history with Shepard. Liara is exposed to the humanity in her Human.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shepard would have been 22 at the time of the Skyllian Blitz

Tevos made no motion to observe the departure of the T'Soni maiden. As soon as she heard Liara's footsteps retreating down the corridor, the councilor made her way to the parlor chair that Liara had vacated, and proceeded to settle herself into it.

Sha'ira motioned to the pair of attendants visible through the now open door that a new tea service would be required. Once the maidens were on their way, she turned to join Tevos, although at her typical slower, more regal pace.

Tevos radiated such a high degree of self satisfaction that it was almost painful to observe. Even knowing where the discussion would lead, Shi'ara felt compelled to comment on it.

"You are pleased with the outcome of your exchange with the Lady T'Soni?"

"She is NOT the 'Lady T'Soni' until named so by the Conclave. THAT day will be hundreds of years coming." Tevos took a long breath before continuing, "And yes, I am very pleased with the outcome. Liara is not nearly so formidable an opponent without Shepard at her side."

"Apparently you believed Shepard would also be weakened by Liara's absence?"

A ghost of a smile played across Tevos' lips. "She is. She was. Shepard was quite easily maneuvered into an emotional outburst during the Council meeting. It did nothing to enhance her credibility with either Valern or Sparatus. Udina's chastising of her only strengthened the rest of the Council's resolve to discount Shepard's claims."

"I am surprised by your intensity of purpose. What makes you so ardently disapproving of Shepard? You yourself sponsored her spectre candidacy. Benezia was both a friend and ally to each of us over many centuries. I know you mean her family no harm. What do you gain by assailing members of her House? Surely House T'Soni is in turmoil enough with Liara's recent ascension."

It was then that Sha'ira's staff returned with the tea service. The pair of maidens moved smoothly around and between the matriarchs, never disturbing, never making eye contact. The remnants of the prior service was collected silently, without the bump of a table or the clink of a cup. The new tea was decanted, poured, and served exactly to each matriarch's taste, as both sets of preferences were well known in the court of the consort.

Only once the maidens had departed and Tevos had savored the first few sips of her tea did her attention return to the waiting gaze of Sha'ira. "Of course I mean House T'Soni no harm. You are mistaken if you think otherwise." She paused to allow that comment time to sink in. "And I'm protecting them, not assaulting them."

"Your behavior says otherwise."

"Does it? I elevated a Human to the status of spectre. Do you believe that there were no Asari worthy of the position? I can assure you that there were. My office has heard from each and every one of them."

"You bowed to political pressure. The Humans had been pressing for a spectre for nearly 20 years."

Tevos made an unladylike noise. "There are few that could bring enough pressure to bear that I would decide on a course of action against my better judgement."

Sha'ira could see that Veleda was in the process of revealing herself. Her thoughts, her actions. Sha'ira had little interest in the whats. She cared far more for the whys. They always exposed more about the subject. "And yet you selected Shepard. Did you yourself agree then that it was time for the Humans to be represented in the spectre corps?"

"I did not."

"?"

"How much do you know about the commander, Sha'ira?"

"A great deal. She performed a favor for me. I read her aspect, provided her with a gift of words. She is an honorable woman."

"And brave." Sha'ira waited nearly a minute for Tevos to continue. "You are familiar with Elysium, and the event the Humans call the Skyllian Blitz?"

"Of course. Even if I were not, I researched the commander's history when she suddenly became next in the line of succession of a Great House."

Tevos settled more deeply into her chair, and directed her gaze to the opposing wall. "There was already a significant volume of trade between Elysium and Illium even then. There were nearly 40,000 Asari on the planet when the Blitz occurred. Nearly fifty percent of those were in Illyria, where the mercenaries landed." Tevos took a deep breath. "One reason why the ground defenses were spread thin was because Shepard directed the regional security forces to focus on collecting any nonhumans and escorting them to the emergency shelters."

"Why would she do that? Additional defenders might have saved them all."

"The shelters were effectively impregnable given the weapons the attacking forces could bring to bear." Tevos turned back to Sha'ira. "Shepard didn't expect the Alliance forces to survive." Tevos paused again, even longer this time. "They did, obviously. Shepard herself held a choke point against the attackers for over five hours. She held it alone."

"I begin to see why you wanted such a person as a spectre."

Tevos ignored the quip. "I visited Elysium with Matriarch Lidanya during the relief effort. This was before she became the commander of the Citadel fleet. We visited some of the surviving Alliance soldiers and civilian defenders in one of the hospitals. There was one room with a handful of Asari standing outside. We entered, presuming the room held Asari wounded. Instead we found Shepard. There was a matron sitting with her. She wasn't medical staff, just a visitor. Her name was Latha Aveci. She told us what happened. She told us how Shepard's actions saved her, saved her daughter, saved thousands of Asari. Nearly 100,000 humans died in the attack on Elysium, many of those from the orbital assault. Only three Asari were killed."

Tevos took time to rinse her cup with the hot water provided, and to pour herself more tea. "Shepard had been sedated during our first visit. When we returned the next day Lidanya asked her why she had done so much to save the Asari. Was it because they were at a greater risk due to their higher value as hostages? Did she fear Council retaliation in the event of a high Asari body count? Was she a xenophile? What was it? Lidanya seemed almost desperate for an answer. It wasn't until later that I discovered that it was because she had a friend among the survivors." Tevos took a sip of her tea. "Do you know what Shepard said?"

Sha'ira maintained a look of quiet anticipation as she waited for Tevos to continue.

"She looked up at Lidanya, Goddess, that confused look on her face, like she didn't understand the question. She seemed so impossibly young. She looked at Lidanya and she said; 'They were our guests. It was my job to keep them safe.'"

"To answer your question Sha'ira, I did not choose a Human to be a spectre. I chose Shepard to be a spectre."

Sha'ira nodded. "Why have I not heard of this? Shepard would have been lauded as a hero in the Republics."

"The Nefrane was in the quadrant when the Blitz broke out. She received the initial distress call from Elysium. Her captain ignored it. She could have beaten the Alliance fleet to engage the pirate forces by nearly 4 hours. As opposed to exposing the Republics to any potential culpability, the Conclave decided that it was best not to direct any attention to the battle, and instead portrayed it as a strictly human matter. Thus, Shepard's actions went unnoticed outside of the Alliance, and the battle itself is barely a footnote to the Asari."

Tevos placed her teacup in the saucer, deciding against more tea in favor of one of the slices of fruit provided. "It was more difficult to arrange to have Shepard offered as a spectre candidate than it was to keep our lack of support in defending Elysium from becoming public knowledge. Two years later I provided 20 names to the Alliance admiralty as individuals that the Council would be willing to evaluate as potential spectre candidates. I didn't want to be seen as singling out Shepard." Tevos sighed. "Shepard was the 14th candidate they proposed, and I'm sure it was because of Captain Anderson's involvement. Udina was shocked when I expressed a willingness for Nihlus Kryik to assess her fitness to join the spectre corps. We'd declined the earlier candidates without even having them meet with a serving spectre."

Tevos continued, "So, I can assure you that I mean Shepard no harm. However, the reality of her joining House T'Soni is problematic. She already questions the Council more than a newly appointed spectre should. The addition of T'Soni resources and Liara acting as her advisor will only make her more brazen and more difficult to control. I wanted her for her ability to see the bigger picture. I thought she was a Human who would act for the good of the galaxy, not just humanity. Instead she now chooses to narrow her focus. She behaves as if Saren, a single Turian, is a galactic threat. She works diligently to support Liara, who is only a single maiden, no matter how influential she might be. There are more critical things to be focused on. I selected her to be a spectre, not Liara's companion! She needs to _listen_ to me!"

Sha'ira had waited patiently throughout Tevos' exposition. She waited longer for Tevos to continue, but the matriarch had finally said her piece and demonstrated no inclination to continue. Finally she sighed. "You have risen high, and are proud of that achievement. But it blinds you. You cannot see that at this moment, your function is one of support, not primacy. You will come to realize that, but it will be a dark hour indeed when you do. It is wrong to try and separate them. Death itself cannot do so." Sha'ira herself seemed confused by that last.

Tevos' voice dripped with venom, "I did not ask for that."

"I am well aware. Still, you need to be mindful that you have not achieved a victory today."

"No?"

"No. Liara wasn't bested by you. She chose to avoid engagement. She was aware of what you hoped to achieve, and selected to allow you to do so."

"Because she knew that I would win."

"Because while Shepard still has faith that the Council will come to believe her, Liara has given up on it. You won't need to resort to subterfuge to divert the young doctor again. She will make no additional attempts to accompany the commander when Shepard is called before the Council. Liara has no confidence in it," Sha'ira paused before adding the final, "Nor in you. She will never view you as an adversary, there is too much history between you for that. Still, in her eyes you have proven yourself unworthy of her allegiance by your failure to support Shepard."

"That is not her decision to make."

"Yet another way that our young peer differs from her mother. She may be reserved, but she is fiercely protective of her own. You both claim some dominion over Shepard. I can assure you that Liara recognizes no claim to Shepard above hers. She makes no effort to hide it. Shepard may be your spectre, but as Liara so candidly stated, she's her chosen."

"Liara is no threat to me. She already risks my ire. She needs to be reminded that I am not her plaything, and she has yet to be properly chastised for publicly implying that I approved of Shepard being Named. If she wants Shepard badly enough, she can have her. The Human is worthy, but if she becomes too much trouble, her spectre status can be rescinded as easily as it was granted."

"At this point it wouldn't matter. Shepard has chosen her course and she will follow that path with or without your support. I implore that you provide it. Remember why you selected her to be a spectre. She won't disappoint you."

"So long as she remembers her place."

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

"... and they still didn't listen to you. I'll give them this, at least they're consistent."

Shepard glared at the Turian as she stomped as heavily as she could across the Council Tower. "I didn't expect that when the Council finally agreed with Udina about something that it would be to do nothing."

"It isn't exactly nothing Commander." Kaidan interjected as he tried to improve his commander's mood. "They're at least taking a defensive stance against Saren's forces."

Shepard looked askance at the Lieutenant. "No military ever defended its way to victory Lieutenant. You saw Sovereign. Do you think a Turian patrol at Ismar Frontier is going to slow it down? They'll be lucky to get word to the Citadel ahead of its arrival."

Alenko pressed his point. "Not if they shut the relay down."

Shepard slapped the call button for the elevator with enough force that even Garrus jumped. "For how long Lieutenant? Forever? The Citadel will make one hell of a capital without relay travel. Besides, you saw how quickly Sovereign could move at Virmire. It must have an eezo core 5 times the size of a dreadnaught. That thing could pop out at the Silvan Nebula or the Krogan DMZ and just travel to Widow via regular FTL. That's assuming it couldn't just reactivate any relay we shut down. I'm betting it can. Sovereign claimed the reapers built the relay network."

Kaidan wouldn't give it up. "The Council races have been running Citadel Space for centuries. Maybe we should trust that they know what they're doing. You saw the Destiny Ascension. She could easily go toe to toe with the entire fifth fleet."

Shepard counted to ten before answering, wondering if she could make it to the Presidium without snapping at the Lieutenant. She was finally able to respond at something resembling a neutral tone of voice. "The Council races' greatest hits also include the Rachni War, the Krogan Rebellion, and the Genophage. Let's assume they can make mistakes too. Besides, those things wiped out the Protheans. I doubt a single ship would be much of a challenge for it, no matter how big the ship."

Garrus stepped in before Kaidan could annoy the commander any further. "Fine. Their plan isn't going to work. What do we do about it?"

Shepard turned her attention to Garrus. "Lockdown or no lockdown we aren't going to sit this one out. We have to get to Ilos. As we'll be dropping in on a Geth fleet I'd rather do it with the Normandy than a commercial shuttle."

Garrus' mandibles flared. "Piracy, nice. And here I thought I'd run out of ways to disappoint my father. Will we be shooting our way through the dock, or just bombing traffic control?"

Kaidan looked horrified as he turned from one to the other before Shepard chuckled. "Normandy's command codes are locked out, so as appealing as either plan would be, neither gets us a ship we can pilot. She's still part of the fifth fleet, maybe I can use that as leverage to get us released."

The elevator doors opened, and Shepard set as brisk a pace as she was able as the trio headed for the C-Sec Academy atrium, and the lift to the docks. Kaidan took this time to reiterate his position. "Normandy may be an Alliance vessel, but she was still sponsored by the Council. They aren't going to let us take her to the Terminus systems."

Shepard sighed with what little breath she had. Sometimes the lieutenant could be almost painfully virtuous. It amazed her that her marine contingent was led by a man more by the book than a Turian, and her Turian was a hothead who hated regulations. "I wasn't going to ask them Kaidan."

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Shepard didn't take the time to change our of her armor before having Joker open a comm channel to Arcturus. She had the call routed to her quarters for the privacy, and even with her curtailed pace still managed to arrive there before the connection was made. There was no need to use the briefing room for any communication that didn't use the holographic projectors, and she didn't want to risk an audience. She'd told Joker audio only, so she wouldn't have to explain her obvious agitation to the admiral. The man was observant. Hopefully he wouldn't hear her irritation with the Council in her voice.

A few minutes passed while she paced her cabin. It did occur to her that it probably wasn't her most well thought move to call the admiral directly. She'd reached an adjutant of course, and the man's tone had made clear exactly what he thought of lieutenant commanders who made free with the comm codes of full admirals. Still, Hackett seemed to have managed to call her almost every time she stepped into the CIC over the last couple of months, so she didn't feel all that badly about returning the favor. Dangerous thoughts, she knew. She was still in the Alliance, albeit on detached duty to the Council. She needed to watch that the liberties granted by her spectre status didn't cause her to become disrespectful of the chain of command.

Finally she heard the mic go live at the other end. "Commander?" Hackett's gravelly voice was unmistakable.

Shepard put all the respect she could into her response, "I'm here Admiral. Thank you for taking my call."

"Well Commander, there's a first time for everything. I presume you're looking for assistance with the Normandy lockdown?"

 _'Damn. So much for the element of surprise.'_ "Yes sir. I was hoping that you could authorize the release of the command lockout."

"That's a good idea Commander, but I'm not going to." Shepard slumped as much as she was able. "I've already spoken to Captain Anderson, who made the same request. I'll tell you the same thing I told him. When you accepted status as a spectre and took the Normandy with you, you agreed to place yourself under their authority. Yes, yes, you're still an Alliance officer, and as you've seen I have no problem making requests of you and your crew, but I'm not going to countermand the Council. There's too much risk politically."

"I understand sir. Thank you for your time."

"I wasn't finished Shepard. The good news is that the Council didn't order the Normandy lockdown, Udina did. Granted, they didn't order the lockdown because it was already in place, and Udina was just trying to curry favor. Still, he's not a member of the Council, nor an Alliance officer. Anderson is going to try to convince him to release the Normandy, and I'll have one of my officers here start the process of having the lockdown lifted as an unlawful order."

"Thank you sir!"

"Don't thank me yet. You're not in Alliance space, and the process could take days. Your best avenue is for you and Anderson to make nice with the ambassador. Get him to release the Normandy, and you'll be on your way. If he thinks you're trying to go around him, he could inform the Council and you'll be out of options."

"I'll do my best sir."

"I know you will Shepard. I don't expect to see the Normandy docked at the Citadel very long. She's too valuable an asset to sit idle. You and Anderson are the officers on the ground. Work together. Make it happen Commander. Hackett out." The admiral broke connection.

 _'That could have gone better,'_ thought Shepard. She activated her omni-tool and called Anderson.

"Shepard?"

"Here sir."

"I won't ask if you talked to Hackett. I was on comm with him when Lieutenant Blake told him you were holding. It takes nerve to just call a full admiral out of the blue Shepard. I wouldn't get used to it if I were you."

"No sir. What's the plan sir?"

"For now Commander, just settle in. I've already contacted the embassy and have been informed that the ambassador is 'unavailable'. His deputy took great care in letting me know how full Udina's schedule is. As a favor to the Alliance, he was able to schedule time with the ambassador for me tomorrow morning at oh nine hundred. I had to pretend I was grateful."

"Do you need me there sir?"

"I think not Shepard. Udina already has a chip on his shoulder about you. Let me go on for a while about how lucky we are to have him as our ambassador to Citadel Space, and then I'll ask if he can grant me the favor of releasing the Normandy."

"You're right sir. I doubt I'd be able to keep a straight face."

"It's just another kind of warfare Shepard. I prefer the other kind." The captain paused for a moment. "That's all for now Commander. I'll update you after the meeting. Just be ready to jump when I say the word."

"Aye aye sir."

"That's the spirit. Anderson out."

Shepard closed her eyes. The ship was already being provisioned, she hadn't approved any leave, and when she had returned from the Council the only crew member remaining ashore was Liara. That just left administrative work to catch up on, _'Including one item that I can't put off.'_

Shepard sat down at her desk and attempted to arrange her workspace. She had open items on half a dozen data pads, as well as a more traditional pen and paper. However, no matter how she tried to position herself, her bandages wouldn't allow her to lean over her desk to write. _'This isn't working.'_ she thought as she stood back up. She considered for a moment requesting assistance in getting out of the rest of her protective gear. That might give her a little more flexibility. She realized however that she wouldn't be comfortable asking anyone for help but Liara or Dr. Chakwas, and Karin was probably still unhappy with her.

 _'It doesn't matter. I can do this myself if I take it slow.'_ Ever so carefully, Shepard started removing the pieces of her armor. The difficulty she had in doing so didn't leave her hopeful. _'It still won't be enough. I'll have to find some other way to write.'_

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Liara tread quietly out of the medbay. It had been several hours since her return to the Normandy, and she was surprised that Shepard had remained secluded for the duration of the evening.

Liara had expected to return to a ship in turmoil. She knew from Tevos that the Council had refused permission to Shepard to pursue Saren to Ilos. When she arrived at the ship and Joker told her that control of the Normandy had been seized as well, Liara was even more surprised that the commander wasn't actively displaying her anger with the Council for the entire crew to see.

Brief discussions with Garrus and Dr. Chakwas revealed that Shepard's behavior had instead been remarkably subdued. The only actions Shepard was known to have performed were a conversation with Admiral Hackett, and to stop by the medbay to have Karin verify that her condition had not deteriorated with the day's activities. The commander hadn't taken dinner, coffee, or even left her cabin since.

Liara respected Shepard's privacy as much as the next crew member, which was to mean not all that much. Usually she needed do nothing to stay abreast of Shepard's status. Over the months since that first late night meal Shepard had increased their evening chats to an almost daily regularity. The commander's visits had become so routine that Liara had expected Shepard to come visit her in her lab long before now.

Knowing the commander's likely emotional state, Liara decided it was time to take matters into her own hands. As she made her way across the empty mess area she maintained a watchful eye for any late night activity. Joker had told her that crew was maintaining a regular watch schedule in case the Normandy was unexpectedly released from lockdown. That meant at this hour there would only be an NCO manning the sensors, and another on navigation who would be doubling as officer of the deck - unless Joker himself remained at the helm this late. Liara doubted either woman had much to do while the Normandy was docked, and she didn't want to explain calling on the commander at a late hour if one of them had reason to visit the crew deck.

Her caution proved unnecessary as her brief walk across the crew deck ended both uninterrupted and unobserved. Liara stopped in front of Shepard's cabin and raised her hand to tap gently on the hatch. When there was no response she tapped again. The maiden briefly considered calling Shepard on her omni-tool, but quickly decided against it. If the commander was sleeping, she didn't want to wake her, but she also wasn't going to desert Sarah if she needed her. Liara reached out to signal for entry, but then on a hunch she put her hand to the red contact patch next to the hatch instead. The display immediately turned green as it unlocked, and the panels retraced to grant her entrance. Any other time Liara might have reflected on what it said that her palm could unlock the commander's cabin, but her eyes were drawn immediately to the sight of Sarah lying on the deck between her desk and her bed.

Liara rushed into the cabin, kneeling by Sarah's side as she activated her omni-tool to contact Dr. Chakwas when she realized that Sarah hadn't fallen, she's deliberately positioned herself on the deck. Either by herself or with help she had managed to remove her armor and had dressed herself in a loose fitting tank top and a pair of tie waist pants. She was lying on her stomach, her head was pillowed on her crossed arms. Scattered above her within arm's reach were a handful of data pads, including one that was upside down, having been used as a writing surface. Liara deactivated her omni-tool as her anxiety waned, and in curiosity she reached for the document Shepard had written.

The writing was bold and even, like the woman herself. The words flowed across the page, written in a dark green ink. The pen she used remained on the floor beside the pad the paper had been written on. Liara no longer depended upon her translator to understand spoken Alliance Standard, and could easily navigate the ship and its systems without resorting to having written instructions converted to Attena. Still, a handwritten note was beyond her current abilities, particularly one in the sweeping script she saw before her. After a moment she re-activated her omni-tool and held it over the paper to read the translation.

o.o.o.o.o

Dear Mrs. Williams,

It is with a very heavy heart that I write to give you the sad news of death of your daughter.

Ashley gave her life in the defense of her comrades. I don't know if that gives you comfort, but I hope that it does. She was a valiant fighter, and an honorable person.

Ashley spoke often of her family. She spoke of her closeness to her sisters, her love of the memory of her father, and your strength. She was proud to carry the Williams name, even as she labored against the prejudice she had experienced because of it.

As for me, I consider myself fortunate to have known Ashley. We had several things in common. We attended the same training facility, had the same instructors, both volunteered for combat assignments, and shared a love for classical literature. She taught me what it was like to have a family to go home to, and I encouraged her to discover that there was a capacity for humanity in anyone, even if they weren't Human. It was a privilege to be her commanding officer.

You have my deepest sympathy on your loss. Although Ashley made the ultimate sacrifice, she would have expected nothing less of herself. She was a brave soldier, and a credit to the uniform she wore.

We will miss her dearly.

Sarah J. Shepard  
LCDR, Systems Alliance Navy

Commanding Officer  
SSV Normandy SR-1

o.o.o.o.o

Liara closed her eyes and squeezed out the tears that had started forming there. She deactivated her omni-tool as she conscientiously placed the letter on the commander's desk. She continued on to quietly collect the pen and data pads scattered on the floor and placed them on the desk as well. Liara then carefully rose to her feet, and stepped around Shepard to turn down the commander's bedding.

Returning her attention back to Sarah, she realized that there was no way she could help her to her feet while keeping the commander's torso rigid. Instead she focused herself and gently picked Shepard up and moved her to the bed with a biotic lift. Once Sarah was positioned on her bed Liara covered the sleeping spectre with her blanket. The maiden ran her fingers lightly down the back of Sarah's head as she whispered "Goodnight, Shepard."

Confident now that her commander was as comfortable as she could likely become given the circumstances, Liara turned and walked to the door of the cabin. Just as she was passing through the hatchway, she heard a sleepy Sarah mumble, "You can't keep tucking me into bed T'Soni."

As the hatch closed behind her, Liara allowed herself a smile. _'Oh yes I can.'_


	5. Perception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard comes to the realization that it doesn't matter what others think.

Shallow breath, shallow breath.

Shepard stared across her cabin into the light cast by her terminal. Her eyes were slits, as the commander tried very hard not to do anything that would add to her already annoying amount of wakefulness. The time displayed was half past twenty three hundred. Her sleep schedule, already disturbed by the ungodly hour she woke up that morning, now further disrupted by what was effectively an early evening nap.

Shallow breath, shallow breath.

She yearned for the sleep that she suspected wasn't coming. Her earlier slumber had been driven by exhaustion, a combination of her body's work to heal itself and the emotional toil from writing Ashley's mother.

Shallow breath, shallow breath.

Shepard focused to not concentrate on her breathing, trying to naturally draw one shallow breath after another. She struggled to let her mind drift, to regain the boneless relaxation that just a few hours ago had allowed her to fall asleep on the floor like a teenager. She smiled at that, only imagining what Liara must have thought upon finding her commander lying on the deck.

Shallow breath, shallow breath.

She gingerly rolled onto her back, putting her arm over her eyes. She acknowledged the thoughts that wouldn't leave her mind.

Shallow breath, shallow breath.

She was frustrated with the Council, infuriated by the command lockdown of the Normandy. She was guilt ridden about Virmire and the decision she'd made there. She was curious about Liara's meeting with the consort, something she had hoped to discuss with the maiden at dinner.

Shallow breath, shallow breath.

And there was the final straw, driving the commander to finally admit defeat. Liara's brief visit, while performed with intent of granting Shepard the comfort she'd need to sleep through the night, had done the opposite. Sarah's brief moment with the young archaeologist had only worked to draw the desire to interact with the maiden to the forefront of her mind. It had barely been an hour. With any luck Liara was still awake and could be persuaded to one of their late night sojourns to the mess. Shepard almost chuckled to herself. She hadn't performed a nighttime raid on the mess with the maiden since the night before Noveria. It had been less than two weeks, but Crosby most likely was starting to think that his kitchen was safe again.

Shallow breath, shallow breath.

Just realizing how long it had been was enough to motivate Sarah to action. She carefully put her feet on the floor, and braced herself against the edge of the bunk to allow her to sit up while keeping her back straight. The medi-gel injections seemed to be working, as she experienced very little discomfort. Much less than she would have with such motion even just a few hours earlier. Relieved at the progress she seemed to be making, the commander brought herself to her feet in a slow but deliberate motion.

Back straight, Shepard marched purposefully out of her cabin.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Liara was still having difficulty adjusting to the brevity preferred by the Alliance military. When Shepard had first suggested that Liara submit her own mission reports to the Alliance, she had taken to the idea wholeheartedly. Although she had come into her own as a fully contributing member of Shepard's squad, it had appealed to the maiden to be useful as a scientist in addition to her role as a combatant. Not being familiar with what such reports should entail, Liara had asked to see the reports that Shepard had been preparing since taking command of the Normandy. The spectre had granted access to the file location where she stored her copy of the mission reports after they were transmitted. Usually they were just a paragraph or two which essentially stated the objective of the mission, and that it had been accomplished. Although all of the reports were correct in content, the maiden found them lacking more than a minimum amount of detail. Liara had been pleased to find that the commander demonstrated a proficient writing style, she just didn't appear to be unduly concerned with written reports. Seeking a more formal example, Liara had summoned the courage to ask Lieutenant Alenko if she could have access to his reports as well. The lieutenant simply nodded, and had subsequently sent her copies of every after action report he'd filed since coming on board. Liara had discovered the lieutenant's writings averaged a few pages per mission and followed a common template. Although they contained far greater detail than the commander's, Liara found them to be excruciatingly dry reading. Given such dissimilar reporting styles, the young archaeologist was convinced that her writing skills far exceeded what was necessary to draft mission reports. Over the course of several sorties, she had become comfortable with submitting her version of events to Alliance command while maintaining copies in her own journals as well.

Her comfort got the better of her after the mission to Feros. Finally, she was able to do more than merely outline the events as she had participated in them. Feros' history as an influential Prothean colony had allowed her to bring her experience as an archaeologist, and as much as she hated to say it, as a member of the Asari aristocracy into play. Her personal role and observation of the mission activities had been little more than a prologue. She had gone on to outline the long term impact that Prothean colonization had had on Feros. She had offered opinions on how the Human colony could benefit from certain remaining technology, and what artifacts were better left to museums and researchers. She had postulated likely scenarios how the Protheans and the Thorean could have coexisted, and what the ramifications of that coexistence might have been. She gave a point by point discourse on how the actions of ExoGeni, Saren, and Benezia had led to the Normandy team's encounter with the Thorian, and why it required the death of a heretofore unknown sentient species. She had gone on to describe how existing laws and regulations in Council space, if followed, were designed to prevent just such an occurrence. She had been fully in her element, and had worked on the report nonstop for days, taking breaks only for personal care and sleep. The final result was a whopping 103 pages, and included over 3 dozen citations, only two of which were to her own prior works. Forwarding the report to Arcturus had left her with a sense of weary accomplishment that she'd seldom felt since defending her thesis.

The feeling was short lived, as Joker had woken her merely 5 hours later with none other than Admiral Hackett waiting to speak to her. The admiral had grilled her mercilessly. Liara had originally been hesitant to answer his questions in detail, fearing the man was seeking weaknesses in the way that the mission and been handed. She had no desire to be the cause of any hardship for Shepard. Hackett had only pushed harder, insisting that she move beyond her original written opinions into detailed analysis of not only what could have been done differently, but the potential ramifications of Humanity's interaction with the Council species given the terms of ExoGeni's leasehold on Feros.

Liara allowed herself a half smile at the memory. She had afterwards rushed to Shepard practically in tears, fearing that she had been somehow disloyal. The commander had merely waved her concerns away, telling the maiden that if Hackett wanted an expert viewpoint, he couldn't do better than Liara. When Liara insisted that Hackett seemed particularly concerned with alternative ways that the situation could have been handled, Shepard had pointed out that the purpose of mission reports wasn't simply to document what had happened, but to force participants to confront any errors they might have made. She assured the young doctor that Hackett's zeal was likely caused by having access to a viewpoint that he'd never had before.

That hadn't been the last debriefing that the maiden had had with the Admiral, although certainly the most intense. She had not yet decided if she liked the man, but he had never treated her with anything less than courtesy. He undoubtably knew her standing in the Asari gentry, but he only ever addressed her as 'Doctor'. If he had a question based more on galactic politics than her studies, he made it a point to broach the subject neutrally, often framing the question from a perspective of asking a well informed galactic citizen, not an Asari aristocrat. She had appreciated the equivocation, even though now as the head of House T'Soni she could no longer pretend that she had no duties beyond her professional career. He did occasionally tease her however, reminding her that hers were the only mission reports that he'd ever received that had been suitable for peer review. The first time the admiral had made that comment had prompted Liara to do some additional research of her own. She had not been surprised to discover that the admiral held a doctorate of philosophy in strategic studies. She had been surprised to see that the admiral had also earned a doctorate in xenosociology from the University of Cipritine, and had been the first Human to have done so. She was sure there was quite a story behind that achievement, given the timing.

She finally believed that she had abridged this report as much as she was able. It had been difficult to restrict her content to the facts as she had observed them considering her emotional condition during the mission. Still, she felt that she had done all she could to provide a dispassionate accounting of the mission to Noveria. Given that the successful completion of the mission resulted in the death of her mother, she wasn't looking forward to a discussion with Admiral Hackett on the finer points of the events that had occurred at Peak 15. She hoped the admiral would understand that, but also knew that if he felt he needed additional information, he would have no qualms about a more in depth debriefing. The mission always came first. After one last read though, she filed the report for delivery to the Alliance.

All in all, Liara was having a productive evening. She would spend time with Shepard at every opportunity, but surrendering to that desire usually came at the expense of sleep or accomplishment. Tonight had seen not only the final completion of the Noveria mission report, but also significant progress in catching up on collating data for her Prothean research. She had even spent some time reviewing the mounting message backlog from Thessia. She had yet to even respond to all of her condolence messages about Benezia's release, let alone keep up with the abundance of day to day correspondence regarding House T'Soni.

Fortunately, her instincts had so far proven correct about Iryra. She had demonstrated herself to be both diligent and effective as an administrator. Most of her needs so far had been a matter of learning Liara's preferences in handling ambiguous matters. Once Liara had expressed a preference in an area, that inclination was reflected in future decisions. Given the declining volume of requests for decision that had been forwarded, Liara was pleased with how many Iryra was handing herself in her new role as lead acolyte.

She decided that the rest of her efforts this evening would be dedicated to House needs. As she prepared to sort through the mass of datapads on her desk, her body chose that moment to remind her in the form of a noticeable gurgling sound that no, she had not eaten that evening. She had hoped to dine with Shepard, and had been too distracted with work to make other arrangements when that didn't happen. She glanced at her chronometer. Not so early that she might expect to encounter others in the mess, yet not so late that she might regret this course of action in the morning. Her decision made, she scooped up the pile of datapads, and exited her lab.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Several minutes had passed with remarkably little progress. Liara remained standing in the mess, realizing that most of her self sufficiency on dig sites had been the result of preprepared meals that only required reheating. She had already stubbornly decided that she wasn't going to admit defeat and limit herself to field rations. That decision had turned into a more difficult course of action than she had expected. Sergeant Crosby had delivered a myriad of both Human and Asari dishes from this extremely compact kitchen, and she refused to admit that she couldn't at least coax a simple meal from it. She had already lowered her expectations below any of the proteins that Crosby usually presented to the crew at mealtimes. At this point she would be happy with oatmeal. She had so far managed to find both the oatmeal and a pan to cook it in. She was well on her way, if only she could identify how to activate a cooktop. Or find the water dispenser.

She was still standing in the mess, her frustration clearly showing on her face when Shepard rounded the corner from her cabin. The spectre stopped short upon noticing Liara, and after a brief pause, changed direction to join her. As she drew closer, a smile, the first true smile since her meeting with the Council, unfolded on her face.

"Hey Liara," the spectre asked as she crossed her arms and leaned her hip against a counter. "Whacha doin?"

With a pan in one hand and a container of oatmeal in front of her on the counter, Liara was fully aware that it was obvious what she was doing. "I was hungry Shepard." There was a teasing look in her eye. "And you have made it very clear that I am not to skip meals."

"Oatmeal isn't much of a dinner."

"I was trying to avoid something overly difficult."

"Was it easy enough? I don't see a lot of progress here."

"I was still familiarizing myself with the kitchen."

"Well, you have more familiarization to do then. The water dispenser is recessed, as are the cooktops." Shepard pulled one of the heating surfaces forward over the countertop to demonstrate. Shepard then took pity on the maiden and stepped forward to take the pan from her. "Go sit down. This isn't a night for oatmeal anyway."

"What is is a night for?"

"Comfort food."

"I am not in the mood for ice cream Shepard."

"No one's ever not in the mood for ice cream Liara, but that's not what we're having." She glanced at the pile of datapads visible on a table in front of one of the chairs in the mess. "Go get yourself organized while I start cooking."

Liara watched warily as Shepard proceeded to pile several ingredients on one of the counters. Shepard paused as she looked up at her audience. "Get going, I can handle this."

"I would still like some tea Shepard."

The commander already had strewn ingredients and cookware across most of the surfaces of the compact kitchen. A brief glance confirmed that she had left little room for Liara to make tea. "I'll get it too. _Go sit down_."

Liara sheepishly made her way to the table where she'd placed her work. She kept glancing over at Shepard to see if there was some way she would assist. Liara had to admit that even if there were room for two to easily work in the mess, Shepard obviously had things under control.

As Liara settled herself into her seat, she was distracted by watching Shepard. The spectre was still holding her torso erect, but seemed to be in much less discomfort than earlier in the day. The woman moved to and fro in the small kitchen, cutting ingredients, warming a frying pan, and thawing some frozen meat. The touch of a smile on her face was reflected in her eyes, and the commander was humming to herself, a tune that Liara couldn't hear well enough to identify. This was a side to the commander that Liara enjoyed, but that so far had only revealed itself when they were alone. She doubted that anyone other than Dr. Chakwas was aware that Shepard even _had_ a domestic side to her. Liara could scarcely believe it herself. Still, it filled Liara with happiness whenever she had opportunity to see it. Cooking was one of the ways that Shepard consistently demonstrated affection for the maiden. It had been since the very beginning of, well, whatever this was. It made Liara feel cared for in a way that was difficult for her to describe. Even her own mother had never cooked for her. She had missed it in the days since Noveria - days when she had needed it more than most. Shepard had been nothing but supportive, incredibly so in fact, since the death of her mother. Still, even as Shepard had helped with Liara's duties to her House, Liara had hoped for Shepard to be more focused on her personally than on helping her with her responsibilities.

A combination of delicious smells pulled Liara from her contemplation. She looked down at her datapads, realizing that between watching Shepard and being lost in her own thoughts, she'd accomplished nothing since sitting down. Despite her backlog, she couldn't bring herself to regret her actions. Even now her attention returned to Shepard as the commander continued cooking whatever it was that smelled so good.

Shepard glanced up, caught her looking, and rewarded her with a smile. "It won't be much longer, I promise. I just need to sear these potatoes. I even already have the water heated for the tea."

"I was not complaining Shepard."

"You never would complain Liara."

The maiden turned her head away at that, even as she felt the blush rise to her face. Shepard was right, of course. It was difficult for her to bring herself to be critical of the commander, even in those extremely rare cases where she might consider it justified. She might hold herself to impossible standards, but never Shepard. Shepard did that to herself. She looked back up at the Human, still in motion. She could watch her for hours. Wanted to. The muscular arms visible out from under the rolled up sleeves. The controlled power exemplified by her economy of motion. Liara licked her lips, and realized that her breathing was coming somewhat faster. She shook her head to clear it just in time for Shepard to turn off the cooktop.

The rattling of plates preceded Shepard's emergence from the kitchen. Liara stood to assist, but received the expected head shake from Shepard. The commander placed the food in a line across the table on the opposite side from where Liara was sitting.

" _Now_ you can stand up." Shepard turned to go back to the kitchen while Liara stood and walked around to the oither side of the table.

She was still standing there when Shepard returned with the tea. "What are these Shepard?"

"That my dear Doctor, is the exemplar of Human cuisine. I give you The Bacon Cheeseburger."

"Comfort food is the ultimate Human culinary expression?"

That brought a wry grin. "Well if it isn't, it should be. At least what I consider to be comfort food anyway."

"And what is the rest of it?"

Shepard demonstrated with the contents of one plate, "You add any of these that you like to the cheeseburger. Lettuce, tomatoes, onions, pickles, mushrooms." Shepard demonstrated by adding some of each but the mushrooms to her cheeseburger. She then went on to indicate another plate with small portion cups on it, "Here you have ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise, also for the cheeseburger." She left those untouched. "This last plate is tomato-potato salad with basil," she paused for a moment, and then continued in a slightly quieter voice, "just like mom used to make."

Liara paused from trying to balance a third tomato on her cheeseburger. "This was your mother's recipe?" Shepard almost never made reference to her family.

Shepard didn't meet her eye, but continued to add more of the salad to her plate. "Cheeseburgers are served so many ways in so many places, both on Earth and off, that no one could really lay claim to it." She paused again, " but the salad was one of the first things my mother taught me how to cook. It was always my favorite."

Liara waited for Shepard to continue. The spectre so seldom disclosed anything about herself that Liara was unwilling to let the moment pass. She stepped close to the commander, paused for the briefest of moments before putting a hand lightly on her upper arm. "It was your favorite?"

Shepard had finished taking her portion, but continued to look at the salad. "I liked the hot slices of potato with the cold of the tomato, and it is very simple to learn how to make." She glanced over at Liara, her smile starting to make a reappearance. "Once I was able to grill the potatoes this was almost all I ever cooked for myself," her smile grew larger as she put her hand over Liara's. "I was a weird kid."

Liara gave Shepard an encouraging look. "I am sure your mother did not think so, Shepard."

Shepard seemed to shake off the moment of melancholy. "So? Sit down, dig in." She indicated the burger on the maiden's plate. "You'll want to eat that before the tomatoes get hot."

"Is that why you serve it in pieces?"

"Yes, the vegetables are fresh, not cooked."

At Shepard's insistence, Liara sat while Shepard poured the tea.

Tea in one hand, and her own coffee in the other, Shepard sat next to the young archaeologist. "Go on, try it."

The maiden reached for her utensils, much to Shepard's obvious horror.

"Wait, no. Like this." Liara watched as Shepard took her own cheeseburger in her hands and brought it up to her mouth, taking a giant bite that Liara didn't believe she could emulate.

"I do not think I can do... that Shepard." Liara looked mortified.

Shepard grinned back over a mouthful of food.

Liara looked doubtfully down at her plate, eventually picking the cheeseburger up with two hands. She needed to compress it substantially to be able to actually take a bite, but take a bite she did. In addition to the rather... noteworthy mixture of flavors, she was rewarded with a rush of tomato juice running down her chin.

Shepard laughed as the maiden looked at her reprovingly, and just handed her a napkin, as her own mouth was still too full for words.

They ate together in silence for a few minutes. Liara spent the time wondering if Shepard was going to reveal more about her family, while Shepard was focused on if Liara seemed to be enjoying her meal. It was Shepard who finally broke the silence.

She indicated the several datapads spread around Liara, "What are you working on?"

"Quite a few things Shepard."

The spectre reached across the table to pick up a datapad at random. It activated with her touch, revealing a missive from Matriarch Stallura regarding changes she was making to the supply chains within Khos. Shepard quietly put the pad down as she guiltily looked at the myriad pads scattered across the table. "I'm supposed to be helping you with these, aren't I?"

Liara looked at Shepard with a start. "Shepard! No! I do not expect you to assist. Technically you are only required to step in if I demonstrate a lack of ability to manage the affairs of the House."

"You don't want me involved?"

"Of course I want you involved Shepard! That is why I..." The maiden trailed off, not certain that she could extricate herself from this new disclosure.

Shepard was silent for a moment. The she wiped her hands and reached out for Liara's right hand, which seemed to have taken up permanent residence covering her eyes. She tenderly pulled the protecting hand away from the maiden's face, and down to the table where she held it gently. "I'm sorry Liara. I left all of this to you and didn't even think. You've been patiently waiting for my help with this and you've never said a word."

"Shepard," The young Asari wasn't going to let the commander hold herself responsible for this, "I was well aware of what I was doing when I selected you to stand with me. I knew of your responsibilities as a spectre, as a commander in the Alliance Navy. I know that the mission to apprehend Saren takes precedence over everything else, especially this." She waved her free hand at the datapads on the table. "I would never ask you to put anything ahead of your duties."

Sarah looked earnestly at Liara. "This is my duty too. I accepted my role in House T'Soni with my eyes wide open. I admit, it hasn't been the best time to learn what that means, and what my responsibilities are, but I want be there for Denai, Stallura, and all the others that are depending on us." She looked deeply into Liara's eyes. "I want to be there for you too. I'll _always_ be there for you."

Liara was swimming in the green eyes, mere centimeters from her own. She found it difficult to breathe, let alone respond, as she was held enthralled by the intensity of Shepard's gaze.

It was there, in that moment, when her raptness was interrupted by another voice.

"I thought I could smell burgers."

Liara's head snapped around to see Lieutenant Alenko enter the mess. She quickly tried to pull her hand back from under Shepard's, but the spectre held it fast. Not so tightly that she couldn't pull away if she really wanted to, but firmly enough to communicate that Shepard wanted Liara's hand to stay right where it was.

Alenko walked up to the table. "That's quite the spread. Is this for anyone? Who's the cook?"

"I was, Kaidan," Shepard comfortably met the lieutenant's gaze, "and you're welcome to have some. Please do, in fact. I got a little carried away."

"What's the occasion? Are you celebrating your victory with Wrex this morning or are you..." his voice trailed off as he noticed Shepard holding Liara's hand. His tone suddenly became stiffly formal. "I apologize for interrupting Ma'am. Good evening." He turned to leave.

"Knock it off Lieutenant. You're off duty, I'm technically detached to the Citadel Council, and the ship's grounded. Sit down and have a cheeseburger."

The young Asari looked over at Shepard incredulously. Shepard gave her a droll smile in return, and squeezed her hand comfortingly.

Alenko's posture eased slightly, but he made no move to return to the table and as he turned back his look continued to judge. "I wouldn't want to intrude Ma'am."

"I said knock it off, Kaidan. If you call me Ma'am one more time this evening then you'll have to clean this up by yourself."

Kaidan returned to the table, and relaxed slightly as he slowly lowered himself into the chair across from Shepard. While he assembled a burger for himself, he indicated the collection of datapads. "Working late?"

Shepard looked at Liara, implying that this was her opportunity to join the conversation.

"Most of these involve administrative functions of House T'Soni."

"Benezia left a mess behind?"

Shepard's eyes hardened, but Liara took no offense. "She took very little interest in House needs over the last 10 years or so, due no doubt to the influence of Saren. The affairs of the House are in reasonable shape, but there are a great many details that need to be attended to."

"So you're playing catch up?"

"And directing efforts to assist in preparing for the Reapers."

"You think it will be that bad?"

"Through Shepard, I have seen the events detailed in the Prothean beacons. Also, my work has revealed to me how few remnants of the Prothean civilization remained after they were destroyed by the Reapers. If we are not strong enough to fight them, then we may have to focus on doing our best to get out of their way."

"I've seen you in combat Liara, I didn't think you'd back away from a fight."

Liara's look turned grim. "I am certain there will be a significant amount of fighting in any event."

Shepard looked from one to the other, as neither seemed to willing to continue along that line of conversation. "Let's not run up the white flag yet folks. One step at a time. Saren first, saving the galaxy from certain destruction second."

Alenko turned to Shepard. "And we can't do either while secured to the dock."

"Anderson's working on that. So is Admiral Hackett. If neither of their plans work I've asked Tali to try to find ways to overcome the lockout."

"Do you think she'll succeed?"

"No, not really. But I'm not going to sit here and wait for the Council to come to their senses. We're going to Ilos, and I'd like to think that we're going in the Normandy. I'm not going to stop trying just because it's impossible."

"If impossible is the order of the day, I'd better get some sleep." He paused, "The burger was excellent." Kaidan rose from his seat, and he nodded to both Shepard and Liara. "Commander. Doctor." He walked from the mess without looking back.

As soon as he was out of earshot Liara turned to the Shepard, her voice a whisper. "I am sorry that I embarrassed you in front of the Lieutenant." She lifted her hand, still held by Shepard's. "It is not my intention to cause difficulty for you with the crew."

At that Sarah finally released the maiden's hand, and instead reached out and pressed her palm to Liara's cheek. "No, I'm sorry. It's true that I need to project a professional demeanor, and maintain discipline on the ship. In trying to do so I led you to believe that I'm either embarrassed or ashamed by you, and I'm not." She lifted her other hand to cup Liara's face. "The mission still comes first, and I have a ship to command, but I care about you a great deal. I don't know where this is going, but I'm not ashamed of it, or of you. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel otherwise. OK?"

Shepard felt the maiden's cheeks grow warm under her hands, and after a moment Liara nodded.

"Good. Let's take care of these dishes and get some sleep."


	6. Disclosure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An open secret has become a bit more open...

_'I should have kissed her.'_

Her first thought upon waking was identical to her last thought before falling asleep.

_'I should have kissed her.'_

Especially now, given that the perception probably existed that she already  _had_. She'd been so careful, so fixated, always trying to maintain an appropriate demeanor around the Asari archaeologist. All of that was out the window now. She allowed herself half a smile. If nothing else, the look on Alenko's face might just have been worth it. It also should spare her any more of his fumbling attempts at trying to charm her. The lieutenant was a good man, a dedicated soldier, but he just didn't have that spark she demanded in someone she would consider for a relationship.

That thought gave her pause. Was  _that_  the criteria she had been judging him on? No wonder she'd kept finding him to be wanting. He'd been hoping for the impossible from her. She wasn't looking for emotional ties. At least, she never thought she had been. Avoiding relationships had been her modus operandi for her entire adult life. Now that she found herself to be entangled in one, she had spent most of her energy being more concerned with how it  _looked_  than with how it  _felt_. That had allowed her to focus on maintaining her commander's mask, had permitted her to push down her fear of what had been growing between her and Liara. Even now, she realized that yesterday was the first time that she had allowed herself to fully acknowledge that a romantic relationship with Liara was not a matter of  _if_ , but a matter of  _when_.

She pushed the thought out of her mind as she forced herself to concentrate on her priorities. This was going to be an eventful morning. After breakfast she needed to work with Tali on possible methods of breaking the Normandy's lockdown. There had to be a fallback plan in case Anderson wasn't successful with the ambassador. As unlikely as was that Tali would succeed, depending on the young Quartan engineer's skill was the only other option that Shepard had been able to come up with so far. She hated to be dependent on others to get her ship away from the dock, but in this case she had precious few alternatives. To make matters worse, breaking lockdown was going to be the easy part. Once they were on their way they had to have methods to bypass the Geth flotilla they would likely encounter at Ilos. When they reached the surface of the planet, there would likely be a second showdown with Saren. Additionally, she had to coordinate intelligence with Admiral Hackett as there were no assurances that Sovereign would remain in the Refuge system while Saren maintained his search.

But again, her mind drifted to the occupant of the lab behind the medbay.

She stopped to refocus. They needed to be ready. There were preparations to make, plans to execute. The commander's mind raced as she considered possible strategies, formulated optimal distribution of resources. She evaluated her current physical condition, the preparedness of her team, and tried to guess the likelihood that Saren had been able to locate the conduit.

And now a new layer of consideration had been added to the mission, a personal one.

 _'Once this mission is over we can get to the real priority, preparing for the Reapers.'_  Shepard imagined Liara at her side, providing proof of the Reaper's existence to the Council. She pictured herself working with Denai to help Liara prepare House T'Soni and Thessia for the Reapers' eventual arrival. She closed her eyes, but the mental image of Liara remained.  _'No, I don't have it bad at all,'_  she thought sarcastically.

"I don't know where this is going," she'd said when she'd lied to Liara last night. Well, she knew where she wanted it to go at least. She was hopeful that she was correct in thinking that Liara wanted the same. This was so new for her. She's always focused on the mission, on the objective. She'd never before cared about  _after_. After was just that time when you nursed your wounds, shared some drinks, and speculated about your next orders. Now she wasn't in all that big a hurry to see what those next orders entailed. She looked forward to some leave, and hoped that  _after_  meant time with Liara, on a planet she was sure that the young Asari would want her to come to think of as home. Shepard snorted. No problem there. It had barely been ten days since the first time she laid eyes on the T'Soni estate. Despite that, images of the coastal mansion, the dense forest, and the spires of Armali had all replaced the rolling farmland of Mindoir in her mind when she thought of "home".

She shook her head as a new thought reverberated through her mind.

_'I am an idiot.'_

Shepard opened her eyes, and pushed herself to her feet, reiterating her regret one last time.

_'I should have kissed her.'_

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Even though she was the most at peace she'd been since departing Thessia, Liara had slept only briefly.

Shepard had initially been difficult for the maiden to understand, but had welcomed her into the team shortly after Liara had come on board. There had been  _something_  between them even then. The commander had been unexpectedly compassionate and patient with her when the young archaeologist had been confused, uncertain, and embarrassed in her interactions with the human crew. Shepard had helped her navigate her unexpected freedoms and responsibilities as a member of the spectre's team. The commander had believed in her loyalty despite her relationship to Benezia, and defended her to all who believed otherwise. Liara in return had been captivated with the soldier, eager to impress her, to prove her worth.

If she had ever managed to do so, she was unaware of the fact. Yet Shepard had taken the naive archaeologist under her wing. The spectre had seen to her training, had encouraged her even as they built a friendship, and continued as the friendship so quickly transformed into something more. Finally the commander had taken her to confront Benezia, and had taken it upon herself to end Benezia's life when Liara had proven unable to do so. In the turmoil afterwards, she returned with Liara to Thessia for Benezia's release. When the young Asari assumed the mantle of head of House T'Soni, Sarah had stood by her as cari'ssi'mi when she ascended. The commander had continued to support the maiden as she'd set new goals and adjusted the organizational structure of the House. During the entire time on Thessia, Liara had sensed herself growing ever closer to the spectre, and had felt Shepard grow closer to her in return.

Her perceptions had started to come unraveled almost immediately upon their return to the Normandy. It seemed their relationship had reset itself. She had allowed Shepard to become her anchor. When that bond was suddenly in question, her reality had started to crumble. Her strength to lead her House, her plans to prepare for the Reaper attack, had all proven dependent on the strength she drew from having Shepard at her side. When Shepard had appeared to distance herself, had resumed referring to her as "doctor", it felt like Liara's world was sliding off its axis.

But now her delight in interacting with Shepard wasn't interlaced with uncertainty for the first time since coming back on board. Her misgivings had been appeased by the commander's reassurances. Liara no longer feared that she was alone in this turmoil of emotion. Whatever storm was coming, they would navigate it together.

She had been only too eager to catch up on her communications with Iryra as she continued to prioritize House business. Honestly, she was too excited to sleep anyway. She was looking forward to the next mission in a way she never had anticipated one before. To visit Ilos was a professional dream come true. A dream, that along with the knowledge revealed to Shepard by the beacons, that could substantiate all of her research, and might even include the additional benefit of providing information they could use against the Reapers.

She had faith in Shepard. They would free the Normandy and be on their way to Ilos. Saren would be defeated. Shepard's sense of duty would be appeased enough to allow the spectre to assist in preparing House T'Soni for the arrival of the Reapers. This night had been the first time that Liara had ever truly allowed herself to imagine Shepard at her side as House T'Soni was adapted to what might very well turn into a wartime footing. The notion of Shepard's impending participation allowed Liara to believe that she might be successful in preserving her House after all.

All of Iryra's correspondence had been answered. Nothing remained outstanding from her, Denai, nor Alaya. Liara had addressed the needs of her House as best she could for the moment. One major priority complete, Liara glided through her morning routine while waiting for it to be time for breakfast.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

As Liara stepped into the medbay, Dr. Chakwas turned in her chair, and looked up at the maiden. The doctor's unexpected smile was dazzling, and lit up her entire face.

"Good morning, my dear." The doctor's tone indicated she believed it was a very good morning indeed.

"Good morning, Karin" Liara responded, suddenly finding herself trepidatious at the Human's effusive greeting. "You seem to be in very good spirits, given our current situation."

"And aren't you my dear? It seems you managed to get what you were hoping for."

Liara's stomach sank to her feet as she realized that she was the reason behind the doctor's good cheer. Although Liara had given a great deal of thought to a relationship with the commander in the context of Thessia, Armali, and the T'Soni estate, she had thought little of the ramifications of a public romance while on the Normandy. She suddenly found Shepard's behavior towards her to be a great deal more understandable. Behavior that the spectre had no doubt decided to change due to Liara's morose attitude recently displayed any time the commander was in her presence.

She decided to feign incomprehension. She took an overly inquisitive tone. "What do you mean?"

If anything, the Human doctor's smile grew even wider. "The new shipboard gossip, of course. Scuttlebutt has it that the commander is 'taken', so to speak." The doctor paused for a sip of her tea. "If anything could snap Jeff out of his funk, this was it. He hasn't stopped talking about it all morning."

Liara put her hand to her face. She wondered why she had found it so easy to lay claim to Shepard when challenging Sha'ira, or even Tevos, yet was so easily embarrassed about being seen as having feelings for the commander in front of the Normandy's crew.

"I am certain that you must have misunderstood, Karin." The hand remained over her eyes as she avoided looking at the doctor. "There have been no 'formal declarations' between Shepard and I. The commander is her own woman." It wasn't completely a lie. The subtle gesture of affection the commander had demonstrated in Lt. Alenko's presence could hardly be considered a formal declaration.

The doctor chuckled in response. "Her own woman who allows you to lead her around like she was on a leash you mean?" Chakwas shook her head at how inexperienced Liara was in matters of the heart. And she'd thought Shepard was hopeless. "The two of you thought you had been so careful to conceal any signs of attachment. You never considered how apparent your commitment to each other is to anyone who cares about either of you. That is a group that, among others, includes the entire crew of the Normandy."

Liara decided to hold her rather dubious position. "You and I have discussed my concerns about Shepard's inability to act on her feelings, publicly at least. My unease has not changed in that regard."

If anything, Dr. Chakwas' already wide smile widened further. "Even after last night? Kaidan seems to believe he received a rather clear message about Shepard's relationship status."

"Oh?" Liara took a deep breath. "Yes, the lieutenant did join us in the mess briefly last night. I presume he mentioned it?"

Chakwas laughed. "Oh he definitely mentioned it. I'm surprised something like this didn't happen before now, as often as the two of you had had your late night rendezvous over Shepard's cooking. Anyway, I'm not just the ship's doctor these days Liara, it seems I've also become the bartender. It's amazing how many people will seek you out when they know you keep Serrice Ice Brandy in your private stock." She paused. "I heard the whole story Liara, at least from his perspective. Don't worry, he didn't imply that there was any impropriety. He simply told me that you were having dinner with the commander, and as that far as the lieutenant was concerned, she made no effort to hide the fact that it was more than more than just a social occasion."

"The lieutenant was not judgmental?"

"Oh he was crushed, but he wasn't judgmental." Chakwas continued before the the inquisitive look on Liara's face gave rise to another question. "He's done a poor job of hiding the fact that he had feelings for the commander as well, Liara. The commander had never done anything to encourage it, but I think he always had hope, at least until last night."

Liara looked crestfallen. "You mean, if I had not remained on board..."

Dr. Chakwas quickly interjected. "Not at all my dear. Nothing would ever have happened between Shepard and the lieutenant, no matter what may or may not have happened with you. Shepard would never have allowed herself to enter a relationship with an Alliance officer in her chain of command. Kaidan knew that all along. If anything, it was your presence on board the Normandy that gave him hope."

"He believed that Shepard would select to enter a relationship with a fellow Human over one with an Asari?" Liara was starting to find the Human penchant for bigotry to be wearisome.

"Nothing like that my dear. It's just that he had never seen Shepard in love before. None of us had. You have no basis for comparison of course, but the commander has been a different person since Therum. She's still every bit the soldier, tactician, and negotiator she was before, but she's different nonetheless. She came back from Therum with stars in her eyes. Even Anderson has noticed the difference in her." The doctor took another sip of her tea. "He's quite pleased with you, by the way. He definitely approves of the effect you've had on his protégé."

Liara felt her stomach perform yet another somersault at "in love". "I believe she has had more impact on me than the other way around," she said quietly.

"In either case, I think we can consider your message to have been received." Chakwas paused again while she waited for what must have been the young Asari's fifth or sixth blush this morning to subside. "I'm proud of you, my dear. You apparently let Shepard know what you wanted clearly enough for her to feel comfortable acting on her feelings."

Liara gave the doctor a mildly cynical grin. "I believe any indication would have worked. I suspect that she was beginning to get impatient with waiting."

"Perhaps. Not that she would have said anything. She's still a novice at this. Still, the fact that she was able to tell you that your feelings are as important to her as how she's perceived by the rest of the crew tells me that she's off to a good start."

Liara cocked her head as she she felt the blood rise to her cheeks once more. "Was Jeff eavesdropping on us? That um, disclosure, was after Lt. Alenko left the mess."

Chakwas' smile returned yet again. "Oh no, that was from Shepard herself. She was in here about an hour ago. She came in to have her ribs checked. She's healed well enough to have her bandages removed, and I used the opportunity to tease her fairly mercilessly. I suspect she's waiting for you to join her and the squad for breakfast by now."

Liara glanced quickly from the doctor to the chronometer. It was already 10 minutes after oh seven hundred.  _'Goddess,'_  thought Liara as she turned to the door from the medbay. She could only wonder what spectacle awaited her in the mess.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Shepard had been uncertain what to expect, but it probably should have been this. The doctor's response had been bad enough. Breakfast with the squad had been an order of magnitude more annoying. The discussion so far had been... animated, to sat the least.

"Of course she chose her! Blue's a competent fighter and noble born as well. A worthy choice of mate for a warrior of Shepard's stature. You think she'd have picked you Turian? Shepard's a solder. She wants a challenge! Someone who can match her in battle. Not someone who stands back in a fight and lets others do the real work."

Shepard massaged the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger, attempting to ward off the headache she was afraid would come calling soon.

"Thanks for the backup Wrex, but I haven't "picked" anyone to be my... mate or otherwise. We're just going to see where we go from here. Anything that happens will be as much Liara's choice as mine."

"I think we know her choice Commander," Kaiden dropped in between mouthfuls of food as Shepard gave the lieutenant a hard look in return.

"It's all very romantic," added Tali. "How often do the stories where you rescue the princess actually happen?"

Shepard looked at the giddy Quarian over her coffee. "I didn't know your people even had those stories Tali."

"Of course we do Shepard. Part of the pilgrimage is to not only benefit the Migrant Fleet, but also to prove your worth to the family of a potential partner you might fancy. Assisting a follow Quarian who encountered difficulty on their pilgrimage has almost become an anecdotal way for young couples to meet."

Shepard jumped at the chance for a subject change. "Does that mean you have someone waiting at home Tali? Someone who is waiting for the results of your pilgrimage?"

"No Shepard, I'm fairly young to be on my pilgrimage. I didn't leave anyone behind. My father is an admiral remember, which is problematic given the type I tend to be attracted to."

Shepard waited a moment for the Quarian to continue before prompting "And that type is?"

The commander could almost sense Tali's blush even through her enviro suit before she continued. "Soldiers."

The commander's eyebrows lifted at this disclosure. "I could see that being a problem. Dating the admiral's daughter can't be easy for a young officer."

Wrex looked back and forth from Shepard to Tali, visibly displaying his annoyance at the diversion, not realizing that Liara had walked up behind him. He raised his voice to resume his discourse. "That's all fine, but we're talking about Blue here." He turned to give his attention to Shepard. "She has powerful biotics, and good birthing hips to boot. She'll give you many fine children." He paused before continuing, as if realizing that the maiden's age could be an issue. "She's also well able to help protect them if needed."

Shepard, for her part, just looked on in horror as Liara stood silently behind Wrex, an expression on the Asari's face that defied an easy description. The commander decided that intervention was required before the situation deteriorated even further. "Liara, I've been waiting for you. I hope you're hungry, we have a busy day ahead."

Liara gave the commander a look that Shepard found more than a little uncomfortable. "A day where I will be busy producing 'many fine children' for you?"

Shepard waved her arm to encompass the occupants of the table as she rose to join Liara. "Enough you miscreants. Say anything you want to me, but leave Liara alone." Her next comment was to Liara. "Ignore them. All this commentary is just their way of harassing me." Tali and Garrus chuckled at the comment, while Wrex just looked confused. Kaidan maintained his dour look, which only served to reinforce Shepard's protective instincts as she moved to direct the Asari out of the line of fire.

Liara looked at Shepard as the commander took her by the arm to lead her to the morning's breakfast selections. "I did not expect our relationship to become an object of speculation this morning."

Shepard released Liara as she grabbed a plate to press into the Asari's hands. "Apparently our relationship has been an object of speculation for some time. Tali's been overjoyed. She can't wait to start pestering you for details about our 'torrid romance.' "

Liara paled. "Shepard, I am not certain..."

"Shh." Shepard put a finger to Liara's lips. "Sorry about that, it was just an expression. I've gotten caught up in the teasing I've been getting all morning."

Liara hung her head. "I am sorry I pressured you to be more overt. I know you care about me, but when came back to the ship and you kept referring to me as "doctor", it frightened me. I was afraid that nothing we shared in Armali had been what I believed." She took a breath. "When I was talking to Karin this morning was the first time I realized that I had not prepared for the ramifications of you expressing feelings for a member of your crew."

Shepard laughed. "I've been 'expressing feelings' for a certain member of my crew for a while, Liara. I've been foolish not to realize it. Just because we haven't been engaging in any public affection doesn't mean that we haven't been demonstrating how we feel in other ways." Shepard moved her hand back to Liara's arm and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Yes, there are going to be awkward moments, but they're going to be worth it." The commander turned her attention to the food before them and started making her selections. "But I meant what I said. We do have a busy day ahead."

Liara followed Shepard's lead, and started putting food on her plate. "Have you heard from Captain Anderson yet?"

"Not yet," replied the commander as she started back to the table. "But it's still early. He wasn't scheduled to meet with Udina until oh nine hundred."

Liara returned to the table as well, and realized for the first time that her usual seat next to Wrex was occupied by Kaidan. That left only the space next to Shepard unoccupied, which the Asari slid into self-consciously. She could feel the eyes of the entire squad on her, reminding her of her first shipboard meal after Therum.  _'Of course Kaidan isn't in his usual seat,'_  she thought. ' _He would be the one to draw attention to Shepard's connection to me."_

"No, it wasn't Kaidan," said the commander as if reading her thoughts.

"It was me," interjected Tali, "I'm so happy for you!" The excitement of the young Quarian was contagious, and Liara felt herself starting to become slightly more at ease.

Shepard allowed herself a smile, trying to put an admonishing tone in her voice even as she enjoyed Liara's proximity. "I hope you can keep that mood going Tali. As soon as we're done, it's down to the computer core for you to break that lockout. We leave for Ilos today even if Wrex has to get out and push."


	7. Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liara doesn't like Shepard's options. Shepard has an unlikely ally.

**Access denied.**

"Are you  _sure_  you tried bypassing the tertiary aegis?"

"Shepard, I'm in the base code. I'm not even interfacing with any subsystems at this point." The young Quarian's impatience was starting to show.

"Did you want me to give it another try?"

"This isn't some random terminal or weapons locker Shepard." Tali took a deep breath. "I know you 'hack' quite a few things while out in the field, but this is orders of magnitude more complex. The wrong edit could leave us without life support or even eezo containment." She paused for a moment before continuing. "I've gotten deeper into the system than I expected I'd be able to, but I'm not any closer to overriding the lockout." She turned away from her console, and back to Shepard. "Not that it isn't incredibly helpful to have the commanding officer looking over my shoulder, but shouldn't  _you_  have the codes to override the system? You  _are_  the one in command. In the migrant fleet we would never imagine being able to prevent a ship from being controlled by her captain."

"As we've learned, it seems my command codes only have so much 'command' to them. I had no idea that the Normandy's systems acknowledged a higher authority than the CO."

"It isn't uncommon on Turian ships," Garrus chimed in from where he he had been watching from his vantage point, leaning against the railing next to Tali's console. "There always has to be a way for the fleet to maintain control." He turned his attention to Tali. "Humans have taught us a thing or two about speed and stealth, but they're learning just as much from us about guns and security. The system's Turian. You aren't going to be able to break it."

Tali turned her exasperation on Garrus. "How could you think I didn't know the system was Turian? I've been typing in Palatine for nearly half an hour!"

Garrus immediately backpedaled. "That isn't, what I meant was..."

"OK everyone, deep breath. Snipping at each other isn't going to get us anywhere." Shepard could tell that Tali was dangerously near a breaking point. "Let's assess. Garrus, you say she'll never be able to break it. Tali, you say you've made it further than you anticipated. I ask you both; Where are we now, and what does that get us?"

Tali spoke first. "I don't know Shepard. I can actually get the system to tell us a great deal about itself," she momentarily turned to Garrus, "Turian 'security' notwithstanding." Her focus returned to Shepard. "But I'm no nearer to getting it to accept any more than the lowest priority commands. Open a hatch? Turn on a light? I can do that. Activate the engines? I'm not any closer than I was four hours ago."

Shepard turned her attention to Garrus, who looked uncomfortable. "I'm sure this wasn't anything  _personal_  Shepard, but it really is common procedure with the Turian navy." His face brightened. " _Turian_  navy. They'll have the codes, I'm sure of it. I can ask my father to contact the High Command and we should be able to..."

Shepard waved him to a stop. "As much as I appreciate you being willing to talk to your father about this, and I do approve of the fact that you're thinking unconventionally on this one, but do you really think the High Command will be willing to help us with what is effectively a mutiny?"

Garrus chuckled ruefully. "Probably not Shepard, but I'm positive you would have loved the story I would have had to concoct for my father."

Shepard grinned back. "I'm sure. OK, we still don't have control. Is it possible to access the various systems directly? Without going through the main computer?"

Tali's voice took on a horrified tone, easily recognizable even through her suit. "Are you serious Shepard? Do you know how difficult it is to calculate a relay jump? Or to navigate at FTL? I don't care how good a pilot Joker is, all that goes out the airlock when you aren't at sublight."

Shepard put up her hands in defense. "Hold on, I didn't mean go all manual, but how about computer control that isn't by the main computer? The mako's onboard computer is fairly robust. I'm sure you would be able to get it to execute navigation subroutines."

"That... isn't a  _terrible_  idea Shepard, but most of these systems are designed to work only with the main computer. We'd have to be able to emulate all the responses that the main computer would give, not just issue commands."

"But is it worth a try?"

"I still don't know Shepard. First I need to see how many simultaneous high level calculations the Mako can manage. I'm sure it offloads a great deal of comp cycles to the main computer."

"Let's go then. We're not making any progress sitting here." Shepard led the pair to the port hatch to the cargo bay.

Liara had observed in silence, waiting for an opportunity to assist. Although the Asari was hardly a novice with electronics, Tali's prowess at this type of security far exceeded her own, a weakness the maiden vowed to rectify in the very near future. As the trio walked towards her on their way to the mako, Liara chose not to join them. The Quarian was skilled, to be sure, but Liara was certain now that Shepard's initial estimate had been correct. This path was not going to get them off the Citadel. She did not follow when Shepard and Garrus passed her, Tali hurrying behind them to keep up with their longer strides.

She closed her eyes. Liara recognized that Alaya had been correct back on Thessia in her assessment of Shepard. The commander would not allow herself to fail. That certitude of purpose was one of strongest things that defined the spectre. Given Shepard's penchant for moralistic behavior, the young Asari was beginning to believe that the coming battle against the Reapers was going to eat away at the Human's conscience. She needed to postpone the kind of decisions that were coming for as long as she could. There was still one logical means off the Citadel open to the spectre, and the maiden knew she was running out of time to pre-empt it.

Liara spun on her heel and strode resolutely to the starboard hatch into the cargo bay, on her way to the elevator.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Doctor Chakwas looked up as Liara burst authoritatively into the medbay.

"I need to talk to Captain Anderson, and I need to talk to him now." The Asari had taken a commanding tone that Chakwas had never heard from Liara before. She didn't give the appearance that she liked it.

"I'm sure the captain would be more than happy to accept a call from you, my dear." Chakwas picked up her tea and turned back to her terminal.

"I cannot be the one to call him. There are too many who would make much of the head of House T'Soni reaching out to the military liaison to the Alliance Embassy on the Citadel. I need  _you_  to call him."

The look on Chakwas' face as she turned back face Liara spoke volumes. She didn't like this tone from the maiden at all. "What's the rush? The Normandy is still on lockdown. We aren't going anywhere."

"That is exactly the problem Karin.  _We_  are not going anywhere."

"You've lost me."

"We are not going anywhere, but Shepard very well might. We cannot allow that to happen."

"I don't think Shepard is going to Ilos while the Normandy is trapped at the Citadel."

"Why not?"

"Again, you've lost me."

"The Normandy is on lockdown, but Shepard is not. Every other ship on the Citadel is not. She has already made jokes about getting to Ilos via shuttle or commercial transport. I believe that it is only her strong moral compass that has not allowed her to follow that chain of thought to the logical conclusion."

"That she should buy a ticket to Ilos?"

Liara sighed in obvious exasperation. "That she should steal a ship."

Chakwas found herself laughing out loud, practically in the maiden's face. "Shepard would never steal a ship."

Liara's countenance had clouded at Karin's laughter. Her tone hardened even further. "There is a reason that spectres are immune to prosecution Karin. It is because they are expected to overcome situations exactly like the one that Shepard finds herself in. In so doing, they will often perform actions that are in violation of the laws of Citadel Space. I know that Humanity does not yet have a great deal of experience in galactic affairs, but I assure you that if Shepard were to leave the Normandy, walk to the civilian docks, select a fast ship, shoot the owner and depart, that the Council would turn a blind eye."

"Oh, please. The Council would have a fit," Chakwas scoffed. "They're the reason the Normandy's on lockdown."

"Actually, the last thing the Council said to Shepard about her mission was that if Saren was truly the threat, then she should act on it. All that the Council has declined was Shepard's request for deployment of the Citadel fleet to Ilos. Shepard's original orders from the Council about Saren have never changed." Liara paused, pensively. "I believe that both Shepard and the Alliance are acting on a false assumption."

"And that is?" Chakwas asked tiredly.

"That Human morals apply in this case."

"And I would argue that Shepard's aforementioned 'moral compass' is one of the reasons that she was selected as a spectre."

Liara waved away the response. "Of course, but now that she is a spectre, the criteria by which she was selected to become one is unimportant." The maiden took a breath. "Through my melds with Shepard, the imprints the Prothean beacons left in her mind, I have seen the destruction of galactic civilization. Against such horror, such death and destruction, how does the theft one one ship fare? The loss of one life?"

"Liara! Are  _you_  of all people trying to tell me that the ends justify the means?"

"Never. Nor would the Council." She grinned tightly. "That is why they created the Spectre Corps. They exist so individual council members would not have to be the ones to make such a statement. If certain events occur during a mission, and the Council is not made aware until after the fact, such collateral damage is viewed as unfortunate and regretful, but necessary."

Chakwas had a sour look on her face. "I don't like the sound of that at all."

"Few do. However, in such cases the Council has created an environment allowing for plausible deniability, token reparations, and again,  _immunity from prosecution_. That's a remarkable amount of power, amounting to near total freedom from oversight. The potential abuse of that power is one of many reasons that spectres as a whole tend to be regarded with suspicion."

Chakwas looked uncertain, but Liara could sense that she was on the verge of convincing the doctor. She decided to push just a little harder, counting on the doctor's relationship with the commander. "You have known Shepard far longer than I. If you think that I am being an alarmist, I accept your judgement, and will join you for some of that tea. Shepard believes that Saren is the route that the Reapers will use to gain access to the Citadel. She believes that the Council's plan is insufficient to stop him from achieving his goal, and that he needs to be confronted and stopped directly. She knows where the Conduit, his intermediate goal, is located. Ambassador Udina has closed the Normandy off as a means to intercepting Saren at Ilos. My question to you is: Will she accept this, or will her attempts to get to Ilos by any means possible continue to escalate?"

Liara waited while Chakwas silently stared back at her. After a moment, the doctor looked away, clearly disoriented by the intensity of the young Asari. Liara could see that her friend was having difficulty coming to terms with both the message, and the messenger. She took the doctor's continuing silence to mean that she was having difficulty coming up with a reasonable rebuttal to her arguments. Hopefully that was because there were none, not just because her introverted ward had suddenly demonstrated unforeseen assertiveness. Alaya, Tevos, Sha'ira, and now Karin. It seemed she was a surprise to everyone these days. Liara chose to ignore the fact that her recent aggressive streak only seemed to reveal itself when Shepard was in need.

The doctor finally broke her silence. "Liara," the doctor hesitated again before continuing. "I just don't see Shepard being able to do what you describe. Even in the face of the devastation you depict, I believe that she would rather fight and lose without giving up her humanity, as opposed to becoming what she abhors." When Liara attempted to interject, she continued. "Still, you have me at a disadvantage, my dear. You have seen what she's seen, in the form of the message from the beacons. I don't believe that mere words can do justice to the destruction of a galaxy spanning civilization."

"But I'm not going to just turn you loose on the Captain. You're obviously emotionally involved, and Anderson has a chivalrous streak a mile wide. The last thing I need is for him to do is make a rash decision."

Chakwas activated her omni-tool, and punched in a comm code from memory. "David? How would you like to treat an old friend to lunch?"

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Shepard usually thrived on challenge, but in this case the novelty had long since worn off.

She realized she needed to take a break when it had become difficult to keep the annoyance out of her voice when talking to Garrus and Tali. Garrus could take it, she knew. The man had dealt with far worse in his career than a grumpy CO. Still, it was unfair to make Tali the target of her frustration. The young Quarian really had a talent for systems, and Shepard knew that if given enough time, Tali could get the ship out of dock.

Shepard also knew that they didn't have that time.

When she found herself on the verge of offering yet one more impractical suggestion to Tali, she knew she was done, at least for the moment. She allowed the comment to die on her lips, and instead used the opportunity to announce that she was going in search of coffee. Tali's relief was apparent by body language alone, while Garrus simply cocked his head in a manner that stated "Good timing, Commander."

Although not having left the engineering and cargo spaces since breakfast, food was still the furthest thing from the Commander's mind. She tried to create some enthusiasm around the idea of coffee, but by the time the elevator deposited her on the crew deck, even the thought of that elixir of life was unappealing.

Instead, she entered the common area without a clear destination in mind. She shuffled past Liara, who was reading a datapad at one of the tables in the mess, and ended up in front of her locker. For a moment, she made motions to open it, a half formed thought about retrieving some of her more exotic electronic implements, but even that ambition fled has she heard Liara's quiet footsteps come up behind her.

Shepard turned and sank to the floor with her back to the lockers as she looked up an the Asari. They were silent for a moment. Shepard had nothing to offer, and after a time Liara was the first to speak.

"Shepard, I am so sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"It is not right. You did everything they asked and more. No one else could have done what you did! The Council owes you everything, yet they allow you to be grounded."

"I don't care if they ground me, but they refuse to go after Saren. If they don't stop him from reaching the Conduit, we're all dead." She paused,  "Don't worry. We're out of the game for now, but I'll find a way back in." Shepard was surprised as a look of anxiety crossed Liara's face, as if that news concerned her.

"I believe in you Shepard. I am with you every step of the way."

With that, Liara stepped forward, with the apparent intent of offering physical support as well. Shepard reached up to take the hand Liara extended. As Liara started to pull the commander from the floor, Shepard pushed off against the lockers behind her, severely underestimating the amount of force Liara was going to use to lift her up from her seated position. Shepard found herself wildly off balance, having to grasp Liara's shoulder to keep from crashing into the young Asari.

Shepard blinked in surprise, suddenly standing practically nose to nose with Liara. Liara, for her part, neither released her grip nor moved away. Shepard wondered briefly what constituted personal space for an Asari, and that whatever it was, she was likely very much inside it.

"You're a lot stronger than you look," she whispered.

That prompted the beginning of a smile on purple lips. "I know," Liara replied, equally quietly. "Even without my training, I did grow up in a gravity field almost forty percent stronger than you did." She still didn't pull away.

Shepard stared into the Asari's blue eyes, eyes that gazed enticingly back at her.  _'Oh, what the hell,'_  she thought. She allowed herself to relax even as Liara pulled her closer, the dazzling blue eyes just beginning to close...

"Sorry to interrupt, Commander." Joker's voice came blaring over the shipboard PA. "Got a message from Captain Anderson."

They both started at the interruption, and Shepard felt Liara's shoulders tighten at the name. She pulled back as she addressed her next comment to the ceiling. "Are you spying on us Joker?"

"No Ma'am," came the reply. "Just knew you were on the ship and thought I'd pass the message on. Captain said to meet him at Flux, that club down in the wards."

"I know where it is Joker."

Liara moved to her side. "You should probably go meet with him." There was a note of urgency to her voice.

"I will.  _We_  will." Again, she directed her comment to the ceiling. "Joker, tell Garrus to suit up. We're going to a club."

"Aye, aye."

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Tevos found herself growing bored.

Even though boredom was a rare occurrence for her, the councilor had been a politician far to long to ever let something as banal as ennui show on her face. Still, she'd been standing in her office's comm alcove for nearly 5 hours and her mind kept returning to her conversation with the Consort the day prior. Sha'ira had been trying to tell her something without telling her. Something deeper than just to have faith in Shepard, but so far she had been unable to ascertain what it was, and how it might be related to the T'Soni maiden. Sha'ira's gift of words had been no help on that front, and had only served to annoy Tevos as she continued to search for hidden meanings.

She brought the room back into focus as she returned her attention to the image projected in front of her. It wouldn't do for the Turian ambassador to be provided with opportunity to point out a visible lapse she might make in her role as a councilor. There was little danger of that she thought, as she allowed herself a glance at the projections of her fellow councilors to her left and right. One benefit to hundreds of years of being a politician was that she could effortlessly maintain decorum even in the face of nearly limitless monotony. They presented a united front to the galaxy yes, but the sparring for advantage was just as active between councilors as it was between their respective member races.

Tevos might physically be alone, but to the eyes of the Elcor ambassador, as well as the audience in the council chamber, she presented a regal presence as she appeared to stand between Valern and Sparatus. The reason for her escalating level of boredom stood before her. Calyn had been the first, and so far only petitioner to be granted hearing today. The Elcor had been expounding on his displeasure with yet another fine point of the trade agreement between the Courts of Dekuuna and the Vol Protectorate. Ten years as ambassador, and it was still very nearly the only subject the Elcor ever brought before the Council. Tevos believed that Din Korlack deliberately antagonized Calyn to create these episodes. Between the complexity of the agreement with the Volus, the Elcor's speed of delivery, and Valern's nearly constant interruptions trying to hurry the process along, Korlack could count on nearly a full day unimpeded by Council requests any time he incited Calyn to lodge a protest.

Having already read the Elcor's formal petition before his arrival, Tevos was convinced she wasn't missing anything of relevance as Valern and Calyn continued to go back and forth. She allowed her mind to return to Sha'ira. As such, it took her a brief moment to register when Calyn's image suddenly had a projection of Matriarch Lidanya superimposed upon it.

"My apologies for the interruption while the Council is in session," began Lidanya, "but there has been a security breach at the Alliance docks."

Valern responded before the Fleet Commander could continue. "Why are you disturbing the Council with this trivia? Inform C-Sec, or instruct the Humans to handle their problem themselves." He waved his hand in dismissal.

The matriarch pressed on. "I would never intrude under normal circumstances Councilor, but in this case the breach involves a spectre."

Tevos' attention suddenly became laser focused. She had no doubt which spectre, nor to the nature of the security breach.

Sparatus spoke quickly, as if trying to avert a response from Tevos. "If the breach involves a spectre, inform the Humans that as such, they are acting under Council authority, and the Alliance may submit a requisition for costs incurred. However," he continued, "the Council would look favorably on Humanity supporting a spectre in the performance of their duties without attempting to exact reparation."

Tevos was surprised at the lack of insight being shown by her colleagues. Could it be possible that she was incorrect in her intuition?

Lidanya's next comment dashed all of Tevo's doubt. "Councilors, the Normandy has broken the Alliance lockdown. She engaged her stealth systems almost immediately, but before leaving visual range she could be observed to be following a course to the relay."

"Impossible! The Council has forbidden it! Send the fleet to intercept at once!" Valern's normally rapid speech accelerated to the point where he was almost incomprehensible. "The ship may be invisible to sensors, but you well know their destination. Using FTL you can reach the relay first and prevent transit!"

"Belay that order!" Sparatus' thundering voice easily drowned out Valern, and virtually demanded the attention of the Tevos and the Salarian counsellor. Tevos could only imagine what it sounded like echoing through the Council chamber. He voiced his next comment to Valern. "You order an intercept? Why? To bring her back? Bring her back so we can  _talk_?" He spat that last. "I tire of talking to Shepard. It's time she started acting like a spectre. She's had an unprecedented amount of contact with us since being granted her status. I for one, am pleased to see her finally acting like a spectre should. Spectres are supposed to act, not incessantly seek permission and approval. If we wanted that, we could use agents with a more public profile, or even our respective militaries. This is the behavior I expect from someone in tactics and recon. I would never allow a bureaucrat to get in the way of a mission. I'm amazed, and disappointed, that she waited this long." He turned his attention to Lidanya. "Fleet Commander. Shepard is acting under Council authority. If the Systems Alliance would like details, they may submit an inquiry through formal channels."

The image of Matriarch Lidanya had neither looked to the left or right during the exchange among the councilors, her focus having remained on the Asari counselor. Tevos would have to talk to her about that. Lidanya had no small amount of loyalty to the Republics, and allegiance to Tevos specifically to be sure. Still, in her role as the commander of the Citadel fleet she had to place the desires of the Council as a whole above the interests of the Republics. She needed to give that appearance, at any rate.

"Counselor Tevos?" The sound of her name from Lidanya's lips had become itself, a question. With Valern and Sparatus in disagreement, the deciding vote was hers.  _'Perhaps, as it should be,'_  thought Tevos.  _'My actions played no small part in bringing this set of occurrences about.'_

Tevos took a deep breath. She had made her decision almost the moment that Lidanya's visage had appeared before her. She wished that it had been part of a well thought out strategy, or even a strong agreement with Shepard's argument about the Reapers. It wasn't, and she knew it. "She won't disappoint you." Sha'ira had said. Tevos bowed her head. "Let her go," she said in a quiet voice.

"Counselor?" Lidanya prompted. She looked as if she was not expecting that response.

Tevos looked up. "Let her go," she said again, her voice firm this time. "Do not intervene in the Normandy's departure." With that, she broke connection. The Council session had run nearly an hour over anyway, and with luck Valern and Sparatus would unify to condemn her breach of protocol as opposed to continuing to discuss the Normandy's flight.

_'Do not disappoint me Shepard.'_


	8. Consummation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is busy on the last day before Ilos...

_Earlier..._

Shepard looked out at the Citadel through the cockpit windows. The view had been unchanged for almost half an hour now. Shepard stood silently, clenching and unclenching her fists. Earlier she had been resting her hand on Joker's shoulder, but had been forced to stop when he'd yelped from the pressure.

She glanced down, and the controls were still bathed in the red glow of lockout. She looked away, partially convinced that the color wouldn't change if she was watching it.

She looked outside again. Traffic patterns were normal. There were no C-Sec cutters pulling alongside. The lights along the dock remained an "all is well" blue. Traffic control had not established contact.

She looked again at the console. Red.

As she returned her gaze to the window, Sarah worried about Anderson. He had been intense, insistent that he could break them free, even willing to sacrifice himself to release the Normandy.

She'd talked him out of his initial foolhardy plan of hijacking one of the consoles in the control center. She rolled her eyes at the memory. It was almost as if the man  _wanted_  to get shot. Like somehow his sacrifice could atone for Udina's action. She'd convinced him to use the ambassador's computer instead. A criminal charge notwithstanding, Shepard considered Udina far less of a threat to the Captain's life and limb than C-Sec. She hoped she'd see him again.

She glanced down again. Joker was looking up over his shoulder and met her eyes. Joker who was following her into mutiny against the Alliance, just like the rest of the Human crew. Anderson had told her that the crew would follow her without reservation, but she'd given them the choice anyway. Any member of the Alliance who didn't want to accompany her to Ilos was free to leave before the Normandy broke lockdown. No one had taken her up on her offer. Sarah reflected that it was funny how the end of all life as you know it could realign one's priorities. She suspected that they'd either be dead or forgiven once this was over anyway.

She was still looking at her pilot when the red tint to the controls reverted to green. Joker caught her change of expression and disconnected from the dock before Shepard even had even begun to speak. "Let's go. Get us out of here Joker. Now."

The Normandy pulled away from the Alliance docks at a speed that felt irritatingly slow, but was actually faster than most pilots would have attempted in such a crowded area.

As the Normandy turned her bow to space, Joker accelerated at the ship's fastest sublight velocity. He glanced up at Shepard. "Stealth or FTL Commander?"

Shepard hoped that was a joke. "Stealth, Joker. We're not trying to get killed. There's no way we can go FTL in system without being under traffic control." As if to reiterate her point, the Normandy swooped across the bow of an Asari cruiser just a few hundred meters away.

"If we stay at sublight they can beat us to the relay, and we'll have to disengage the stealth systems before transit."

"Even if they catch us, there's no way they can try for an intercept during a transit approach, and I'm guessing that no matter how badly they want to stop us that they won't destroy the Normandy to do it.

"May all your guesses be right Commander."

"How many vessels in pursuit, Joker?"

"I can't activate the sensors while we're in stealth mode Commander. We'd light up for them like a Christmas tree."

"You still have optics. How many ships were in visual range when we were docked? Any that aren't still in visible range have jumped to FTL and will be waiting for us at the relay."

Joker had reached the same conclusion before Shepard had finished her sentence. "Hang on Commander. I'm getting an estimate from the computer." The pair waited for a moment before the computer responded to Joker's inquiry. "That can't be right."

"Tell me Joker."

"All ships that the computer had in visual range when we were docked... are still in visual range."

"They're chasing us at sublight?" Shepard's brow furrowed. "That doesn't make any sense. Are you sure that the stealth systems are operational?"

"It isn't that Commander. I don't see any ships in pursuit. We must have made a clean getaway."

Shepard rocked back on her heels. "They're letting us go."

"Commander?"

"They let us go, Joker. I don't understand it, but they let us go."

"Maybe Udina talked to the Council."

"I doubt it Joker, but we'll find out soon enough." She turned to go to the CIC and the galaxy map. "How long to Ilos?"

"Nobody's done that for a few thousand years Commander. All I can give you is an estimate."

"Then estimate."

"We have four transits, and two systems to cross. 34, 35 hours, give or take."

"As fast as you can Joker." Shepard strode out of the cockpit.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Tevos looked up as J'neri entered her office.

"Counselor," she began, "Captain Anderson of the Systems Alliance is here to see you."

Tevos had had just about enough of humanity for the moment. "Inform him that I am not to be disturbed, but that he is more than welcome to make an appointment through the embassy."

Her assistant looked hesitant.

Tevos closed her eyes for a moment. "Yes J'neri? What is it?" Tevos could only imagine what new complication was about to befall her.

"The Captain claims he is here to place himself in Council custody."

Tevos sighed. _'Of course it was you Anderson,'_  she reflected.  _'Who else would risk so much for Shepard.'_ She activated her terminal, as well as several data pads. "Please send him in J'neri, but reschedule my next few appointments. I would rather the Captain not be seen leaving my offices."

The counselor was sitting impassively behind her desk when the Human entered, J'neri exiting the office after escorting him in. The Captain walked over to stand before her desk, where he stopped without speaking. Tevos offered nothing, only continuing the work she had begun before he entered.

Five minutes passed. Ten. Fifteen. Neither acknowledged the other's presence as they sparred without speaking. The Asari knew that Anderson had a minor advantage in that the Counselor was fully within his view as his eyes focused on a spot on the wall over her shoulder. Even though her perspective of the Captain was via his reflection in her desk, Tevos recognized the stance that the Human had assumed as "attention". Anderson had remained motionless, feet together, legs straight but not locked, arms at his sides with his thumbs against his trouser seams. It was a very un-Asari posture, one focused on rigidity as opposed to flexibility, yet one the Humans shared with the Turians. For someone who had aged significantly during the time she had known him, Tevos reflected that the Captain still carried himself like a much younger man.

It had been nineteen minutes. Just shy of her chronometer ticking to a twentieth, Tevos straightened in her chair and looked the Alliance officer in the eye. "Yes Captain?" Again she offered nothing. Her countenance remained expressionless as she waited for Anderson to reiterate the ridiculous claim that he had made to J'niri.

The Captain did not return her eye contact, simply repeated the message Tevos had already heard. "Counselor, I'm here to surrender myself to the custody of the Citadel Council for the crime of violating a Council decree."

"Hmmm."

Anderson waited nearly another minute before replying. "Counselor?"

The Counselor remained aloof, committing to nothing even as she responded to the officer. "We both know that isn't true. If you were honestly anticipating arrest and detention then you would have simply presented yourself to C-Sec." She waited for a response from Anderson. When there wasn't one, she continued. "Additionally, if you were genuinely acting to place yourself at the mercy of the Council, you would have appeared before us as a body. Instead you come to me personally. You anticipate absolution."

Tevos noted that the man did not attempt to contradict her, and maintained his ramrod straight posture as he replied. "It is possible that I believed there was a better chance of magnanimity from you, as opposed to Sparatus."

The Asari relaxed her shoulders as she pushed herself slightly back from her desk. "Then you would have been wrong." She waited again for a reaction. She smiled inwardly when she received none. "However, in this case you are assisted by the fact that in my eyes no actual transgression occurred, something that I suspect you very well know." She paused. "Additionally I speculate that Ambassador Udina is likely quite displeased with you. Are you fleeing his jurisdiction? A charge of treason is a capital offense in Alliance space. Do you seek asylum?"

"No Counselor," the Captain replied. "My actions were my own, and I take full responsibility for them. My first and foremost concern was that any infringement upon the will of the Council be recognized as mine, and mine alone. I see any grievance in the eyes of the Citadel Council to be preeminent in this matter. If the Council believes no infraction has occurred, then the will of my government will take precedence."

"Given that the Council will not pursue redress, do you expect incarceration?" Other than death, Tevos knew of no higher punishment that the freedom loving Humans would inflict on one of their own.

"Possibly. If not that then reprimand, censure, possibly loss of rank."

"I see."

The pair considered each other in silence.

Finally Tevos continued. "Why David?"

"Since you haven't called C-Sec yourself, I think you know why."

"Don't test me. This isn't a game. Answer my question or get out of my office. You can go be irreverent with your ambassador."

"I apologize Counselor. I meant to say that I believed that we were in agreement that Shepard needed to be free to continue her mission."

"Against the will of your government. You seem to be in a hurry to place the desires of the Council over those of your own race. I find that behavior to be puzzling in a military officer."

"Against the will of one man. One man who acted in what he believed was his own best interest, as opposed to in the interest of his government or our allies."

Tevos steered the conversation in a new direction. "Strong words. You would attempt to remove him from office? Perhaps to take his place?"

Anderson appeared shocked. "Of course not. I may not respect Udina personally, but he is the ambassador, and as such he has my allegiance so long as it does not conflict with the security of the Alliance."

"And you believe that you alone are able to judge when the Alliance is threatened?"

"No. However I do know firsthand what it means to disappoint the Council. I would prefer not to see all of humanity painted in that light."

Tevos stood and walked around to the front of her desk. "You do  _not_  know what it means to disappoint the Council. You never have. Do you still think you were actually being considered for spectre candidacy? No one wanted that. It was a pretense to put you in the field with Saren for evaluation. Don't you think that we knew how such a mission would end? That _I_ didn't know? You fought in the First Contact War for Goddess' sake. Even without that no Turian Counselor who was young enough to have battled the Alliance would ever have voted to grant spectre status to a Human. All spectres have to be agreed upon unanimously. Sparatus may not be a fan of Humanity, but he's the closest thing the Alliance has had to a neutral party in the Turian Counselor's position since Humanity joined Citadel Space." Tevos mildly softened her tone. "You did not fail your test David. You're still undergoing it. I suggest that you consider your next actions carefully."

She returned to her chair. "This audience is concluded Captain. I would appreciate it if you would see yourself out."

Anderson appeared to hesitate for a moment, then he brought his hands together in a close approximation of  _lidifemea_ as he executed a shallow bow. "Thank you Peeress." He then turned on his heel and strode from the Asari Counselor's office.

Tevos cocked her head slightly as she watched the Human depart.  _'Goddess damn that man.'_ She activated her terminal. "J'neri."

"Yes Counselor?"

"Contact Arcturus Station. Inform Admiral Hackett that the Asari Counselor will speak with him."

"Yes Counselor."

Tevos broke connection.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

There had been a period of tension the evening before when the ship had escaped the Citadel. The crew had been more than willing to follow Shepard to Ilos, but had realized what that might mean when racing to the relay. Would they be fired upon by friendly forces? Would  _they_  have to fire upon friendly forces? An all encompassing mission objective was fine in the abstract, but had an entirely different meaning when it might violate one's moral code.

The pall over the crew dissipated after the Normandy's first transit. Once it became apparent that the Council wasn't planning to take action, the crew's demeanor had rapidly returned to normal.

Which meant that by breakfast Liara was being greeted with the same volume of smiles and questions of how she was feeling as she had been the morning prior.

After breakfast, morning PT, and weapons practice, Shepard had retreated to the cargo bay and was working on weapon mods. Without Shepard to act as a buffer between her and the silly grins of the crew, Liara had retired to her lab where she had been working well into the afternoon.

Some parts of the work had been more enjoyable than others.

"Perhaps you would like to perform an inspection? An unannounced visit to the estate might be just what the staff needs." Liara was shaking her head before the Asari projected by her omni-tool had even finished speaking.

Liara recognized the pleading tone in Alaya's voice. "No, Seneschal. Now is not the time. Perhaps once the mission is complete."

"If I may Peeress, it benefits the staff to see the patrician actively engaged in the House."

Liara's eyes narrowed. "Do not attempt to admonish me, Alaya. I have been 'actively engaged in the House' since my ascension. I speak to Iryra almost every day. Eliata had been progressing well in strengthening House T'Soni's commando corps. Matriarch Stallura has met or exceeded all timetables we had agreed upon, and has additionally taken it upon herself to mentor Jedis in business management. I am satisfied with the progress being made." For a moment Liara considered pointing out that she had more than likely provided more direction to her House in a matter of weeks than Benezia had in the last decade of her life. The moment passed, however. It would serve no purpose, and Liara had no desire to add additional tarnish to her mother's memory.

"And Denai?"

"What about her?"

"She has been very... active."

"You need to be more clear Seneschal."

"I am concerned that perhaps some of her activities are self directed."

Liara wasn't going to allow a lack of respect for Shepard's  _princeps_  to stand. "I am sure she is acting as she has been instructed, or as she interprets need." She knew the answer to her next question, yet asked it anyway. "Have you shared your concerns with Sarah?"

Alaya looked away. "I have not Peeress."

"Then I suspect that either Denai's behavior doesn't bother you all that much, or you don't truly see Shepard as patrician in House T'Soni. Perhaps you don't even see her as c _ari'ssi'mi_?"

"I withdraw my comment"

"That isn't enough Seneschal. You need to either accept Shepard's role in the House, or you need to step down in favor of someone who can. You will always have a position with House T'Soni but I cannot have Shepard undermined by someone so highly placed." Liara paused. "Whom else have you shared your concerns with?"

Alana's head remained bowed. "No one Peeress. I do accept Shepard as family, but it would be easier if..."

"Yes?"

"If you were able to visit the estate with some regularity."

"Alaya, I will come home as I am able. Now however, other concerns are paramount."

"Concerns that could lead to the destruction of the House! Your decision to follow Shepard places your life at risk, as well as the well being of House T'Soni. For all you know these are your last moments."

Liara was earnest in her tone. "Alaya, nothing is without risk. I do what I do because I must. I do it because I believe it is the only way to save the House."

"But there is too much risk! I heard you lost one of Shepard's crew on Virmire! Did you know her?"

Liara paused before continuing. "Yes, I know. I was there. In fact, I just finished the Virmire mission report for the Alliance. As for Ashley, I knew her well. You would have liked her."

Alaya was practically shaking. "You were there? The Council, the Alliance, they need the Head of a Great House to fight in ground combat? To write reports?" She paused, "Does Shepard know the risk?"

"The Alliance is happy to have the assistance of a scientist and scholar who is knowledgable about the Protheans and their destruction. As for the Council, it might be more accurate to state that my participation is tolerated." The maiden carefully ignored the final question.

Liara could see that she was not putting Alaya's fears to rest. "Seneschal, we will be home soon. I promise." They both knew the promise was meaningless, but it did appear to lessen somewhat the obvious distress displayed by the Matriarch.

" _We_? As in Shepard will accompany you, or we as in  _together_?"

Liara offered the beginnings of a smile. "We will be home soon," she repeated.

She was rewarded with a wide eyed look in response as she broke the connection. She dropped the smile. Liara wasn't oblivious. She realized that Alaya could very well be right. These  _could_  be their last moments. Perhaps it was time to start acting like it.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Udina was wearing his finest suit. Midnight black with platinum threaded trim, the suit was tailored to fit him perfectly.

He didn't wear it often. In fact, this was only the third time. He wanted the additional gravity the suit would add to his demeanor when he spoke to Admiral Hackett. The admiral was often dismissive of him, and the embassy's requests. He would give no ground this time. Anderson had gone too far.  _Much_  too far. Udina fully intended to end the man's career. If Hackett got in his way he may very well suffer similar consequences.

He glanced in the mirror. His black eye and swollen jaw still showed prominently. He wanted Hackett to see what his officer had done. Anderson had been too full of himself for far too long. Udina had no idea why Hackett kept the man assigned to the embassy. The admiral may believe that Anderson was an effective liaison, but honestly he just made Udina's job harder. Anderson had a history with the Council, and not a positive one. It was all Udina could do to keep Anderson from blundering from one error to another, making humanity look like buffoons.

But this, this this was the worst. Assaulting his own ambassador, freeing the Normandy, thwarting the Council's will, Udina was astounded that he had not yet been called before the Council for Anderson's actions. He needed to make sure that the Captain had been discharged and could be offered up as a sacrificial lamb before he was forced to face them.

Hackett's face appeared on his terminal. "Donnel," he greeted. "I assume you're calling about Captain Anderson?"

Udina tried not to show how much he hated it when the Admiral called him by his first name. "Yes. You've heard then?"

"Counselor Tevos called me herself."

Udina took a breath.  _'Of course she did.'_  "Then you know the significance of the situation."

"I do Donnel, I do. I was surprised that Tevos didn't reach out to you, but she might not be aware of how our chain of command works."

"What do you plan to do then?"

"At the very least I thought I would take the Counselor's suggestion and place a commendation in his file."

_"What?!"_

"Her exact words were: 'You are fortunate to have such an officer in your service. Anderson is capable, decisive, and works towards the common good of all races. It has been a pleasure to work with him, and I hope to continue to do so for many years to come.'"

Udina just stared at the terminal as the Admiral continued, "She even smiled. I don't know what's going on at the Citadel, but it sounds like you and Anderson have things under control. If you would like to add a commendation as well, just forward it to my office. For the moment I'm focused on assembling the Fifth Fleet, and will be ready when Shepard reports from Ilos." Hackett waited for a response from Udina. "Was there anything else Donnel?"

Udina was visibly deflated, and unable to shake his stupefied look. "No, nothing Admiral."

"Alright then. And Donnel?"

"Yes?"

"Never lead with your chin." The Admiral signed off.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Shepard was writing.

She'd kept a journal as a teen, but those days were long behind her. She wasn't sure what had caused her to pick up the habit again. It might have been a desire to work through her thoughts and feelings. Perhaps it was based on a suspicion that what they were doing was important, and even if they didn't succeed others would want to know what had happened as they worked to stop Saren and Sovereign.

Most likely she was inspired by a certain Asari. An Asari who often smiled at her encouragingly when she caught her journaling in the mess, humming some silly pop tune. So far Liara had been the only other person that she'd allowed to read what she'd written about the mission to date. Still, Shepard suspected that some of the details had made their way into the reports that Liara had been sending to Admiral Hackett. Liara talked to Hackett more than she did, and Sarah was occasionally concerned that she was the topic of conversation more often than she might like.

At the moment, Shepard was stymied with trying to come up with an effective euphemism for mutiny. Liara might be correct that the Council would be fine with her actions, but that didn't make her feel any better about it. She was still considering her options when the hatch to her cabin swished open.

Shepard smiled as she looked up to see Liara enter her cabin.

Liara stopped just inside the cabin, and hesitantly asked "Shepard. May I speak with you?"

Sarah stood. "That was a little formal. Of course Liara. I was just thinking about you."

"I have been thinking about you too, as well as what we are about to face. I do not know what is going to happen on Ilos. I hope we will stop Saren of course, but part of me fears we are already too late. There is something I must tell you, in case we fail."

"We're not going to fail."

"Please, I am not looking for comfort."

"Not even a little?" Sarah tried to lighten the moment even as she moved closer to Liara.

Liara had a flicker of a smile before answering. "Saren might already have the Conduit. it is time to be completely honest with each other. I believe it is time to show each other how we feel. Will you join with me Shepard?""

Sarah took a half step back in surprise, as she focused on the Asari's eyes. "I want this Liara, I do. But are you sure you're ready? I know how you feel. You don't have anything to prove to me."

"I have never been more sure of anything in my life. I, I have wanted this for a long time. Since before Thessia. Since before Feros."

Sarah stepped forward and took Liara in her arms. "For me it's been since Therum."

"Shepard!" Liara exclaimed playfully "You did not even know me then."

"I knew you were amazing." She leaned forward into Liara, kissing her soundly. She put all that she was into the kiss, and took all that she could from it as well. She drank in Liara's taste, her scent, the way she felt in her arms.

Liara started working on her buttons, undoing them quickly for someone who Shepard had never seen in clothing with them. Shepard started moving her hands up and down Liara's back looking for a zipper, a seam, anything. She knew that the Asari's version of the jumpsuit looked similar to the Alliance issue one, but it certainly didn't seem to operate the same way.

Liara apparently sensed her frustration, and stopped working on the Commander's uniform. "Let me help Shepard." The maiden pinched her fingers across the line of shoulders, and the seam separated there, allowing her jumpsuit to drop to her feet. Liara stepped out of it, and her ship shoes as well. She had worn nothing under it.

Sarah almost couldn't breathe. She'd seen the maiden unclothed before of course, changing with the squad, in the showers, or in the medbay. None of those were appropriate opportunities to absorb the beauty that was Liara. She remained speechless as Liara moved back into her arms and resumed undressing her. Shepard closed in for another kiss, one Liara greedily returned. They broke only as Liara pulled Sarah's compression shirt over her head, allowing it to join her uniform jacket and pants on the floor.

Sarah moved her hands up to Liara's neck, and started to move higher to the underside of her crest when she felt Liara smile against her lips, and the maiden reach behind her to stop her hands' upward motion. She pulled her head back to look at the maiden. "No?"

The smile remained on the maiden's face. "Not just yet Shepard. You've been watching too many vids." She held onto the Commander's hands as she moved forward to press herself against Shepard again. She guided Sarah's hands down to the base of her spine. Sarah felt three folds there, swollen and open, and felt Liara help her press her fingers into them.

"Right there Shepard." Liara let go and wrapped her arms around Sarah's neck. "Push as you rub."

Sarah did as instructed as she continued to kiss the maiden, and was rewarded with Liara starting to shudder in her arms. " _Harder_  Shepard," Liara whispered.

The Human redoubled her efforts and suddenly Liara arched into her, whimpering slightly. Sarah loved the reaction. "What's next?" she asked as she started nibbling her way down Liara's neck. "Tell me what you like."

"I would rather you know what I like Shepard." Liara took Sarah's face in her hands and whispered, "Embrace eternity."

Sarah drew a sharp breath as she felt Liara enter her mind. It was unlike their other melds, where she felt nothing, not even a presence. This time she felt Liara, completely. She felt consumed in warmth, in love. She felt Liara's need, desire, and arousal as if it were her own. She could sense Liara moving deeper, aligning their nervous systems until there was only one. Shepard could feel her own arms around Liara, and the body heat Liara felt from embracing her in return.

Sarah was consumed by sensation as Liara moved them to the bed. Liara was simultaneously kissing Sarah, moving Sarah's hands up to her crest, and deepening the meld.

And then there was only blue.


	9. Destruction

Liara was playing with her hair.

That wasn't terribly surprising. For the last couple of days Sarah had noticed that the Asari was fascinated by her shaggy red locks. Liara had taken every opportunity since Virmire to brush, graze, stroke, or otherwise just touch her hair. Sarah had always been bothered before when her hair was touched, and even considered the hair itself a nuisance. Now she had an entirely different perspective. Liara's touch was so relaxing that it was in danger of putting her to sleep, despite the fact that it was still only early evening.

_'I could get used to that.'_

_*Good.*_

_'!'_

An image of a smile presented itself to Shepard. In response, she framed words.

 _'Um, you're still here?_ '

Again the smile. * _I would think that is obvious Shepard.*_

_'I meant in my head. I thought the meld would end, well, when we were done.'_

_*A mating meld will end when it does Shepard, in minutes or hours. It depends on both the focus and how strong a link exists between the partners. Proximity helps maintain a meld, and physical contact assists even more. I can force it to end if you find the connection distressing.*_

_'No!'_ Shepard regrouped, _'Uh, I meant not if you don't want to, that is. Hey, aren't you awfully relaxed about all this? Isn't this your first time and all that?'_

 _*You know the answer to that Shepard.*_ Suddenly Sarah found that she did. _*And we are taught how to meld from a very young age. I fully understand the process.*_ Finally hesitation, _*Even though I have never actually done_ this _before.*_

Shepard pondered that for a time, basking in the presence of Liara, until finally another question occurred to her.

_'Aren't you uncomfortable? We've been like this for a while.'_

Liara was lying on top of Shepard, with her head tucked under Sarah's chin. Her right arm wrapped up and around, with her right hand idly twirling the hair that had started the conversation. Her left arm ran down Sarah's side, practically tucking under the Human's right leg. Sarah rather enjoyed it, but then the Asari was more padded than she was.

_*Do I feel uncomfortable Shepard?*_

_'This does take away the need for asking questions, doesn't it?'_

_*I am sorry. By giving you offhand responses it might seem like I expect you to find the answers for yourself in my mind. Asari actually find such behavior to be terribly uncivil, and I would never do that to you. I meant to indicate that you would be aware if I were in any discomfort.*_

Sarah took a deep breath, lifting Liara on her chest. Liara gave no indication that she found the motion unpleasant, and even snuggled tighter as she continued to slowly play with Sarah's hair.

 _'No,'_ she admitted, _'You don't seem uncomfortable.'_

 _*I compare this to lying in the sun on a warm spring day. Now I understand part of why there are so many Human / Asari pairings. Among the races in Citadel Space, only Krogan and Vorcha have warmer body temperatures,*_ Liara shifted slightly, _*I doubt very much that either of them would be as enjoyable to cuddle with.*_

_'I wish I'd known you were only looking for a cuddle partner. I could have had Vorcha brought aboard for a test run.'_

_*Not funny.*_

_'Really, I was concerned. The three times we melded before, you always seemed in such distress afterwards.'_ Sarah paused before continuing, _'I thought maybe there was_ _something wrong with me - that I was resistant somehow.'_ Actually, she'd been terrified of the possibility, but best not to focus on that now while Liara still had full access to every thought.

 _*I had given some consideration to my earlier difficulties as well. I was also concerned, and had even prepared myself for an acclimation period before we were able to achieve this depth of connection. It is commonplace for Asari to encounter some degree of impedance when melding with a new partner if that partner is of another species. This is particularly true if that partner had never melded with an Asari before, as you had not. I simply believed we were at one end of a normal curve when it came to how strenuous the meld would be to achieve and maintain.*_  Again the smile,  _*I was delighted to discover how easy it was to join our minds.*_

_'Then why the difficulty before?'_

_*You are very strong willed Shepard. This is not a platitude, it is an observation. Your ability to survive the beacons proves it.*_

_'It was that difficult for you to connect with me_ _before?'_

_*Quite the opposite, I think. I do not believe my fatigue and debility was caused by creating or maintaining the connection, but by fighting to prevent it from becoming deeper. Your mind was aware of my presence, and was not fighting against our connection, but rather attempting to strengthen that connection to... this.*_

Shepard felt a blush rise to her cheeks. _'Sorry about that.'_

_*It is unlikely that you could have had conscious control over it Shepard. Perhaps if I were more... experienced I would have recognized it for what it was. Instead I believed my difficulties to control the meld were caused by your mind trying to force my consciousness out. We were not even connected to the degree that two Asari might be to share a greeting. However your mind was able to take what should have been the barest touch of connection and attempted to act to enhance it. As strong as I knew you were, I apparently still underestimated you.*_

Shepard took one of her arms from where the were wrapped around Liara's upper back, and gently started stroking the top of her crests, careful to not go beyond the tips to the more sensitive spaces between or under them.

_*Mmmm. You do that very well Shepard.*_

_'It helps to be able to know what feels good to you. I don't want to do anything I shouldn't.'_

_*Shouldn't?*_

_'You look so relaxed. I didn't want to instigate anything you weren't ready for.'_

Liara opened her eyes, and turned up to look at Sarah. She lifted her head to face her new lover, while simultaneously using the hand entangled in the Human's hair to pull Sarah up slightly from her pillow. She bought their lips together in a long, slow kiss.

_*I am an Asari maiden, Shepard. I can assure you that there is no danger of me ever being "not ready".*_

Sarah was wide eyed with shock at Liara's response, so much so that she had still not replied when the maiden kissed her again.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Liara felt incredibly relaxed as she awakened. There was a warm place in the bed next to her, but that spot was unoccupied. She rolled into it anyway as she turned over to look for Shepard.

She didn't have to look for long. The commander was already dressed, leaning against her desk, watching her.

Liara reached out for the meld, and was happy to see that while significantly weakened, it had not unraveled completely. She could feel Sarah's love and attraction to her, against an undertone of concern about the mission. As she lifted herself onto her elbows she decided that this was a time for words, not thoughts.

"By the Goddess, that was incredible Shepard."

" _You_  were incredible."

Liara chuckled. "Not one of your better lines, but I appreciate the sentiment."

Joker's voice overrode everything else as it broadcast across the ship's PA, "Five minutes ETA to the Mu Relay."

 _'So much for a heartfelt discussion.'_  thought Liara. "I had better go. Duty calls. You would not want to keep Joker waiting." She paused, "Shepard, whatever happens on Ilos, I just wanted to say, thank you. For everything."

"Duty calls us both. This is your life's work, of course you're coming down to Ilos with me."

Liara scrambled out of bed and collected her jumpsuit and boots.

"So, this will be our first date? Firefights and explosions?"

Shepard cocked her head. "I thought Jiirae's was our first date?"

 _'So did I,"_  Liara thought in relief. It was good to know that as inexperienced as she was, she hadn't been  _entirely_  unaware. "That was dinner with the commandos Shepard."

"Well, we aren't going to be alone this time either."

"So, just you, me, and... Garrus?" Liara guessed that either Garrus or Wrex would be the other squad member selected. That gave her a fifty percent chance that it would be Garrus. Perhaps more than fifty percent chance of Garrus, as Shepard tended to select the Turian more often when the commander was in a good mood, possibly due to the Turian's predilection for witty comments during battle. Liara smiled inwardly. Despite what they were about to face, Shepard was radiating such a good mood that Liara thought she would be able to feel it even without the meld. The spectre was practically glowing.

"Of course Garrus! I can't deny my best friend a shot at taking down Saren, can I?"

Liara closed her eyes.  _'Your best friend indeed. You are such an amazing Human, Sarah Shepard. Your family was killed by non-Humans. Many of your race are still xenophobic about the Turians and other races due to the Relay 314 incident. You encounter discrimination and intolerance at every turn, and yet you see nothing out of the ordinary at having a Turian best friend. I should be jealous of how close the two of you have become, yet somehow I am not. I hope that someday you realize how special you are. I hope that I am the one to help you see that.'_

When Liara opened her eyes again, Sarah was looking at her with a strange intensity. The maiden wondered how much of that she might have been able to glean across the flickering remains of the meld. No matter. There had been nothing but truth in her thoughts. Liara was glad that she had found someone that she could be so completely open with, confident that she would be accepted without judgement. It was a new experience for her. She had always had to keep some part of herself hidden from each person in her life.

She put on a brave smile as she sealed her jumpsuit. "It is going to be fun, Shepard."

"That's the spirit! Go put on your armor while I give Garrus the good news. Saren isn't going to know what hit him."

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

"That's it then," announced the XO as he, Alenko, and Joker watched the last of the Geth ships break orbit. "Lieutenant Moreau, lay in a course for the relay. Engage at half sublight when the final Geth ship makes transit."

"Pressly, we can't just leave the commander behind. What if she needs extraction?"

"Flight Lieutenant, you will address me as 'XO Pressly' for the time being as a reminder of who's in charge here. The commander gave clear instructions. If the shore party loses contact, or if the tactical situation changes, we are to immediately present the Normandy to Admiral Hackett at Arcturus and provide him a status report."

Lieutenant Alenko watched the exchange from the co-piolt's chair. His estimation of Pressly kicked up a notch at the way he handled the insubordinate Joker. Given how animated he had been in arguing against dropping the commander on Ilos, Kaidan was glad to see that the XO kept a level head when he was in charge.

"The XO's right Joker," Alenko added support to Pressly. "We have our orders."

"But what if Shepard needs us?"

"Needs us to do what? Fight the Geth? They're leaving, so they obviously know something we don't. Their whole objective is to get Sovereign to the Citadel. Since they're on the way out of the system, they think either that's been achieved, or is going to happen soon." He indicated the three dots marking the shore party on the contour map provided by the ship's sensors, "Shepard's team are all still providing strong bio readings, and still in motion. There are no remaining enemy targets on sensors. They haven't radioed for pickup, so they're probably still trying enter the ruins to reach Saren."

"And if Saren's already gone?"

Pressly picked the conversation back up. "Then nothing changes. The commander gets a couple days off waiting for us to come back during which T'Soni gets to revel in the archaeological find of her career. Look Moreau, there aren't any comm relays in system. The only way we're getting a report out is to deliver it ourselves. We have a little time to monitor the commander's progress because I don't want to transit into the Mu Relay system while there's still a Geth fleet there. In any case, the Alliance needs to be aware of what's happening. If the Geth are about to be on the Citadel's doorstep, don't you think the Admiral would want to know?"

"I guess you're right."

"You guess I'm right...?" Pressly waited expectantly.

"I guess you're right,  _sir_."

"Maybe I am Lieutenant. But even if I'm not, those were our orders. The commander doesn't expect us to follow orders blindly, and neither do I. However, we don't get to choose which orders we want to follow either. The situation hasn't materially changed, and we were given orders to cover this exact circumstance."

Kaidan piped up. "We can leave a sensor packet in orbit to monitor the shore party until we transit."

"Good idea Alenko. Moreau, prepare a sensor packet and release it when we break orbit. Announce a 5 minute warning before transit." The navigator turned and left for the CIC.

"I never thought I'd see you supporting the XO like that Kaidan."

"It didn't hurt that he happened to be right. Shepard lets you get away with a lot because you're good at your job, and she isn't threatened by you. As small as the crew of the Normandy is, this is the largest direct chain of command she's ever been a part of. Pressly has served on larger ships all his life. The chain of command is what keeps things running smoothly in that kind of environment. It's what he's used to, and what he expects from his officers. He was being gracious in explaining himself to you. He didn't need to. You've been spoiled under Anderson and Shepard. Someday you'll have a CO that expects their command pilot to be by the book. I know you're a bit of a maverick, but sometimes it's better to follow the regs than break them just because you can."

Joker sunk lower into his seat, "Yeah, yeah."

"Yeah yeah...?"

"Yeah, yeah  _sir_."

"That's the spirit. We'll have you spit and polish in no time."

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Liara hadn't really  _meant_  it when she said Ilos would be fun, but if she were being honest, this had been one of the best days of her young life. She had left her suit camera running from the first time they disembarked from the mako after drop. She couldn't wait to get back to the Normandy so she would be able review the footage. She smiled to herself at the thought of her first book being titled  _High Speed Archaeology_.

It was difficult to feel guilty about the distraction of the camera. If anything, it allowed her to focus. Every Geth trooper was just a diversion from being able to swing her camera at one more piece of statuary, one more engraving. She had been more aggressive in combat than she ever had been before, occasionally rushing beyond Shepard to engage a Geth that stood between her and some relic.

In such cases, the Geth in question never stood a chance. Liara was able to simultaneously target such enemies, maintain her barriers at a level that she never needed her shields, and keep her camera pointed in the direction to provide maximum benefit for later review. This bunker they were chasing Saren down might very well have been the last refuge for members of the Prothean species. No mere Geth was going to stand between her and its secrets. Her prowess to that end surprised her. She wasn't worried about the enemy, she wasn't worried about contributing to the team, she wasn't even worried about disappointing Shepard. The fighting was  _easy_. She'd even found it within herself to joke with Shepard and Garrus when they were finally able to gain access to Saren's escape route. "Who votes we take the mako into the creepy underground bunker?" She shook her head, remembering her own audacity.

She glanced over her shoulder at Shepard after dispatching a Geth rocket trooper and was warmed by a view of the Human woman grinning from ear to ear. Liara's recalled Shepard's behavior on Virmire, before that mission had gone so horribly wrong. A day when the commander had seemed to swing back and forth between trying to impress Liara, and trying to protect her.  _'She's enjoying this! Enjoying... us! Is this how every battle is for her?'_ Liara wondered if her own increasing aptitude was what freed Shepard to revel in the battle as they double timed back to the Mako.

She didn't have much opportunity to test her theory. After returning to the mako they were able to drive some distance down the tunnel without encountering additional forces left behind by Saren. Even Shepard's driving wasn't challenged by the straight downward stretch of tunnel they were currently traversing.

They had only driven a few more minutes when they encountered another obstacle blocking their path. Shepard braked sharply, throwing her teammates forward as she avoided impacting what looked like some kind of barrier curtain.

"What is happening?" Liara asked as the pushed herself back from where she was held by the mako's restraints.

Garrus was less restrained. "It's a trap. Saren must have set an ambush!"

Liara unbuckled to lean forward and peer over Shepard's shoulder at the obstruction through the mako's forward viewport. "I... do not think Saren is behind this." She swept a 360 with the turret controls. "There is another barrier behind us, and an archway on the starboard side of the tunnel. I believe we are being directed there."

Shepard looked up from her console. "There's no Geth on scanners." She popped the hatch. "Let's go see what there is to see."

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

What there had been to see was yet another elevator. As they sank into the darkness, Liara had voiced her concern. "I have studied the Protheans for decades, but I have never felt this sense of foreboding." Garrus had tried to be reassuring, while Shepard remained focused on the task at hand.

It turned out, she needed have worried. Liara had been amazed by encountering working Prothean technology in the form of the beacons, and had thought that visiting Ilos would be the pinnacle of her archaeological career. Those were mere highlights compared to what waited for them at the bottom of the shaft.

Shepard had led them out of the elevator at a brisk trot, unholstering her pistol in the process. She only stopped at the end of the pier the elevator opened onto where a malfunctioning console crackled with unconfined energy.

Now Liara drew in a sharp breath as the console  _spoke_  to Shepard, revealing itself to be a functioning Prothean VI.

"You are not Prothean, but you are not machine either. This eventuality was one of many that was anticipated. This is why we sent our warning through the beacons."

Liara tried to rush forward, but was blocked by an outstretched arm from Garrus. She turned an angry look to to the Turian who gave her a quick head shake even as Shepard responded to the VI. She considered resisting for a moment, but then thought better of it.  _'The mission comes first.'_  She'd never truly felt the sacrifice behind those words before now.

She listened impatiently while the AI identifying itself as Vigil answered a career's worth of questions about the Protheans. She didn't know whether to be jealous or overjoyed as Shepard was led down a path of knowledge that decades of backbreaking work and professional ridicule had been unable to reveal. She held her tongue as she monitored her suit's camera. When she captured Vigil's confirmation the existence of indoctrination, while unveiling the fact that Saren was himself indoctrinated, she could hold back no longer. In her excitement, she gave voice to the obvious. "This is incredible. An actual Prothean VI, and I can understand it!"

Her outburst drew an impatient look from Garrus, but Shepard never turned around. As for Vigil, it lectured almost like a professor as it seemed eager to impart its knowledge. "I have been monitoring your communications since you arrived at this facility. I have translated my output into a format you will comprehend."

Shepard finally started questioning the VI, and Liara eagerly absorbed the responses. Vigil confirmed that it was in fact not an AI, but was indeed a VI with a personality overlay from a Prothean scientist.  _'No wonder it sounds like an academic,'_  thought Liara. Vigil went on to explain the trap that was the Citadel, revealing at last why Saren and Sovereign were willing to sacrifice so much to gain access to it. With control of the Citadel systems, the war would be over before it really began. The best of the Turian, Salarian, and Asari militaries were based at the Citadel, attached to the defensive flotilla there. Liara tried to imagine tens of thousands of ships the size of Sovereign. When the Reapers transitioned through from dark space, the might of Citadel Space would be washed away in an instant, leaving only the Alliance to lead any kind of counteroffensive. The maiden had never been to Arcturus Station, but she doubted it would be able to hold out against such an onslaught alone.

She kept her camera focused on Vigil and Shepard as the VI moved on to outline the final days of the Prothean Empire. It described isolated systems falling one by one without a central government to coordinate any kind of defense. Liara perked up as even though the VI spun a horrifying tale of total destruction, there was a glimmer of hope provided by the scientists on Ilos, and what they called the Conduit Project. They overcame nearly impossible odds. As power reserves diminished, the VI sacrificed the population of the research colony in the relentless triage of machine logic, leaving a mere dozen alive when the Reapers returned to the dark space between galaxies. Despite taking horrible losses as Vigil shut down life support for the hundreds of other Protheans, that final dozen dedicated the remainder of their lives to preventing the return of the Reapers.

Although unsuccessful in that task, the Prothean scientists were able to use the research from the original goal of the colony, to create working mass relays, to open a channel to the Citadel itself. The scientists traveled to the Citadel after the Prothean extinction was complete, and altered the Keepers so that they ignored the order to open the connection to dark space for the next cycle of extinction. While the Reapers remained a threat, their normal method of invasion was hampered, buying the current cycle just a bit more time to prepare for the Reaper onslaught.

When Vigil revealed that the Conduit was itself a mass relay, and one that connected directly to the Citadel at that, everything became clear. The Conduit was exactly that, a conduit Saren hoped to pass through to the Citadel to be able to open it for Sovereign. Liara was shocked when Shepard simply took the data wafer offered by Vigil, and turned to the elevator. Garrus immediately moved to follow, but Liara was torn. " _Shepard_ ," she pleaded, "I still have so many questions."

Shepard slowed but didn't stop. "We have to go, Liara. I'm not leaving you behind with god knows how many Geth."

Liara's blood ran like ice at the thought.  _'How could she think I want that?'_  A split second passed during which she realized exactly how.  _'Nevermind.'_  She trotted to catch up. "I apologize Commander." She made sure she had Shepard's eye as they reached the elevator. "It was merely momentary frustration," she said even as she marked the location with her omni-tool. "I would never let you continue into the fight without me."

Shepard didn't smile, but there was a sparkle in her eyes as she nodded in acknowledgement.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Liara watched as Shepard stode up to the petitioner's console in the council chamber. She waved her omni-tool across it, activating the control codes provided by Vigil.

"The data file worked. I've got control of all systems."

Liara blanched.  _'That was almost ridiculously easy.'_

Finally something had been easy. Liara had been given reason to be amazed by the commander on more than one occasion. Today had exceeded them all. She had to admit, flying a mako through a mass relay actually  _did_  sound like something the commander would do. Afterwards though, Shepard had blazed a trail in her pursuit of Saren that defied description.

They maiden had worked in many places with poisonous atmospheres over the course of her career. Never had she worked in zero pressure, only her suit and helmet separating her from the vastness of space. She'd certainly never  _fought_  in zero atmospheres! When Shepard had nonchalantly stated "Suit up, we're going outside" when the elevator had been frozen, without even attempting other solutions, Liara's hands had shaken slightly when she sealed her helmet.

Shepard on the other hand, had been unimpeded by vacuum. It made Liara wonder why the commander was so reluctant to wear her helmet it battle. It certainly didn't seem to slow her down any. She took out Geth as if it were a game, with her and Garrus having to get creative to even find targets to shoot. Shepard had been able to overcome Saren as well, first with biotics, and then with persuasion, but he had proved to be a significant delay.

A voice rang our from behind her. She turned to watch Garrus running up the stairs to the petitioner's platform. "Quick! Open the station's arms. Maybe the fleet can take Sovereign down before he regains control of the station!"

Liara turned from the Turian back to Shepard. "We need more information. See if you can open a communications channel."

Shepard's omni-tool crackled with static. Even through the interference a voice could be heard. "...the Destiny Ascension. Main drives offline. Kinetic barriers down 40 percent. The Council is on board. I repeat, the Council is on board."

The next broadcast was far more welcome. "Normandy to the Citadel. Normandy to the Citadel. Please tell me that's you Commander." Joker's voice was unmistakable.

"I'm here, Joker. The shore party is present and accounted for."

"We caught that distress call Commander. I'm sitting here in the Andura sector with Admiral Hackett and the entire Fifth Fleet. We can save the Ascension. Just unlock the relays around the Citadel and we'll send in the cavalry."

Liara was ablaze with anger at Joker's suggestion. "Shepard! You cannot sacrifice a Human fleet, not even to save the Council."  _'Especially not the Council, not THIS Council. This Council who have abandoned and betrayed you at every turn. Even Veleda, sodalis of my mother, you have forsaken Sarah more than once! I refuse to allow Shepard to repay such betrayal with sacrifice.'_  She took a breath. "We will need every ship when the Reapers return."

Garrus looked at the maiden quizzically. "This is bigger than humanity Shepard. Sovereign's a threat to us all."

Liara held her ground. "That is why you cannot throw away the reinforcements trying to save the Council. Hold them in reserve until the Citadel arms are open. Then the fleet can target Sovereign."

Joker broke in to remind the commander that he still hadn't received a response. "What will it be Commander? Rescue the Ascension, or hold back?"

Shepard looked at Garrus and Liara.  _'Dammit. This is SO far above my pay grade. What the hell Hackett? Did you forget about us down here? An order would have been nice.'_  She paused.  _'Of course he's not going to give me an order. He doesn't know the tactical situation. He's as in the dark as Joker. There's a spectre in the theater of operations, and she has Asari intelligence and Turian security assets available to her. He's deferring.'_ Her voice was sure and steady, even as she locked eyes with Liara. "Opening the relays now Joker. Save the Council. Save the Destiny Ascension. If we can get those Geth off her, her main gun will be a huge asset against Sovereign."  _'See? I even gave a valid tactical reason, not just because you would never have forgiven yourself for Tevos' death, no matter how angry you are with her.'_

The Geth were no match for the Alliance reinforcements. As the fleets moved to englobe Sovereign, Shepard turned her gaze downward. Liara and Garrus moved forward to the end of the walkway,to join her in looking down at Saren's body. Shepard didn't look back at them. "Make sure he's dead."

Garrus took the lead as he and Liara rode the elevator down to the conservatory below the council's audience chamber. Liara held back even as Garrus strode up and unloaded his pistol into the rogue spectre's body. "He is dead," she radioed back up to Shepard.

No sooner had the words passed from her lips than the entire Presidium began to shake. Saren's body began to convulse, even as it was enveloped in red energy tendrils. Garrus and Liara were thrown from their feet, even as the petitioner's platform collapsed, causing Shepard to fall and join them in the conservatory.

Liara was the first of the three to her feet. Garrus was still on his knees, and Shepard had just pushed herself onto her hands and knees, and was shaking her head. Saren had risen as well. Liara watched as the indoctrinated Turian was growling, glowing, and  _changing_. He was growing larger, his fingers extending into claws. When the energy that enveloped him burst in a gigantic flare, it left no organic component combined. All that remained of Saren was the technological enhancements added by Sovereign. Saren was now just a shell of a Turian, barely recognizable as such.

The Turian's corpse rose to it's full height, and then leapt away in a fashion similar to a Geth hopper. As it did so, it emanated a voice that seemed to come from everywhere at once. 'I am Sovereign, and this station is mine!" Saren's body immediately started firing at the trio, a combination of energy bolts and plasma discharges, that caused the three to scatter for cover. The arrangement was fortuitous, as Saren's remains could not focus fire one one of them without turning its back on the other two.

And so began one more battle, like many others before. Saren / Sovereign was powerful, but it was only one entity. It had no backup, no path to retreat. Despite Saren's obvious power, Liara felt good about their chances and quickly fell into a pattern with Garrus and Shepard. Shepard would attack with a biotic charge, immediately following with a shotgun blast. With the enemy staggered, Liara would envelop it in stasis, locking it into place. This gave Shepard the opportunity to retreat to cover, and allowed Garrus to line up a shot with the location where the entity would fall. Once hit by Garrus' sniper rifle, Saren would jump away to a new position, and the trio would reposition themselves as well to allow a repeat of the strategy.

The fight was going well. Liara was growing fatigued, but whatever force was driving Saren was ebbing as well. There was less enemy fire to dodge as Saren seemed to be targeting Shepard more often than her or Garrus.

Saren jumped. She, Garrus, and Shepard repositioned themselves to accommodate its new position. Shepard charged, immediately following with her shotgun, driving Saren back. Liara locked it in stasis before it even hit the ground. She started counting in her head as Garrus lined up his shot. Just as she reached 14 seconds, Garrus' rifle barked. This time, Saren was ready. Instead of taking the hit, it jumped high and away, attaching itself to the wall above and behind Liara.

Liara turned as she drew her pistol. It was all she had. She was in her cool down period and had no other options. Garrus had a good line of sight, but his rifle was several seconds away from being able to fire again. Shepard was somewhere behind her, and likely only reaching the end of her cool down period as well, her pistol and shotgun no use at any kind of range.

Saren dropped, barely 10 meters away, and started unloading all his weapons at her. She heard the chime announcing the depletion of her shields, and she wasn't yet able to raise a barrier. "I love you Sarah," crossed her lips even as she continued firing. Her pistol would overheat, but that didn't matter. Any damage she did to Saren could make the difference for Sarah to finish it off.

Suddenly she was catapulted sideways across the conservatory, hitting the wall so hard she nearly blacked out. As she looked up dazedly, she saw Shepard occupying the space she had to abruptly vacated.  _'She charged me! She threw me out of the way!'_. Sarah stood a few meters from the dead Turian, unloading her shotgun and her pistol as fast as their heat dissipation would allow. Saren was firing in return, but the commander seemed unaware, as she screamed challenge into its face at the top of her lungs.

The commander's own shields were nearing the end of their capacity when a resounding boom coincided with the disappearance of Saren's head. The dead Turian's body collapsed even as Shepard turned to see where the shot had come from.

Garrus called out as he stepped from around the elevator. "I think we're done here."

"See to Liara," the commander shouted in return as she knelt to verify that Saren wasn't going to resurrect a second time.

Just as Garrus started to help her to her feet, Liara saw the debris from the battle in space crash through the windows above. "Shepard!" she called as the room was buried in debris.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

She could smell smoke.  _'Perhaps we should both learn to wear a helmet,'_  thought Liara. it was dark, and she couldn't move. Her legs were pinned under what she assumed was debris.

She heard motion out of her sight. "Hello?" she called.

Suddenly a piece of wreckage was pushed aside, and she was bathed in light. A man, a Human, was using his omni-tool as a light source and was shining it in her face. As she put her hand up to shield her eyes, she saw Garrus to her right. He looked shaken, but unharmed.

The Human called behind him. "Captain Anderson! We've found them! They're in here!"

The Human security officer moved to attend to Garrus as Captain Anderson knelt by Liara's side. She tried to stand even as the Captain was freeing her legs. "Take it easy. It's over, you're safe now."

 _'No one is safe,'_  flashed through the maiden's mind as Anderson followed up with "Where's the commander?"

It was all that Liara could do to look towards the middle of the room. The position the commander had last occupied was now under the largest pile of burning debris in the conservatory.

Anderson didn't reply as he and an assortment of officers from C-Sec assisted her and Garrus to the doorway, allowing the fire containment teams unrestricted access to the site.

She felt dead, numb as she looked back at the remains of Sovereign. So blurry was her vision that for a moment she didn't believe what she saw.

Anderson saw the hope on the maiden's face and turned as well. He was just in time to see Shepard stepping up to the top of one of Soverign's enormous legs.

Shepard paused for a moment, before sauntering down to them. The spectre had a limp, was cradling her left arm, and had seemingly taken some kind of injury to her torso, but none of that kept her from flashing Liara her trademark lopsided smile. A smile that contained both joy and impudence. A smile that Liara had been afraid she'd never see again.

A smile that remained on the commander's face even as she collapsed at Liara's feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so ends Connections! Thanks for reading, and the story continues in Fragments!

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Assumptions here include:  
> FemShep/Liara (Not yet LI, but oh so close)  
> Later ME1 - after Feros, Noveria, Virmire and this is the 6th story of the Cari'ssi'mi series (Sorry, it probably makes sense to at least read Obligations first)
> 
> Shepard is:  
> Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero
> 
> As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


End file.
